goodbye, cruel world
and by good bye, i mean hello;
and by cruel world, i mean facebook, central wisconsin, & earth aka planet retard slave
i just tweeted another succinct summation of everything, which is the multitudinal truth of everything that i hate which includes people who hate. i hate people who think they can’t heal themselves. i cannot heal myself. i hate smokers of cigarettes, constant talkers, perfume & cologne wearers, and smelly people for poisoning air, yet i smoke weed as much as possible and as often as i can find it (hasn’t happened in over a month, which probably explains my horrible depression. that & the looming homelessness and continued [although completely justified/forgivable] rejection by everyone.), and smell like a wild feral human because i refuse to wear the corporate perfume slime known as “deodorant” because it messes up my skin and generally pisses me off. pretty much everything and everyone pisses me off. you could say i have anger issues, but no one ever has. i don’t yell at people for being their abusive, competitive selves. i just internalize it and hate myself. everyone wants me dead, as far as i can tell. two days ago, for the first time in a long time, i came really close to giving them what they want: my death.
only a few people have ever been encouraging to me, let alone complimentary about what or how i do things. i hate it here, on this planet, at least amongst “civilization” and domesticated humanity. white people, i hate white people. and straight people, and people with jobs, and/or homes. people who talk in public parks/libraries, and especially smokers. if i were literally god of the universe, i would give cigarette smokers the instant death that they crave as soon as they decided to poison my air. this wouldn’t be necessary, however, because if i were in charge, it wouldn’t be legal, let alone possible, to manufacture that poisonous product in the first place. speaking of being god of the universe, why don’t you GET TO THE FUCKING POINT OF THIS RAMBLY SHIT-POST AND EXPLAIN WHAT THE FUCK IT IS YOU’VE BEEN DOING FOR THE LAST DECADE. ok, good.
i call it running for president, because if i, as a natural human person, were to be elected to the position of president of the united states, i would, as soon as legally/feasibly possible, turn over this executive power to an inclusive, open source, direct-democracy database that would roboticize and automate all the boring administrative crap nobody really wants to do anyway, as well as track the actual contributions of participants. in addition, this real-time data processing warehouse would replace land ownership, the police force, currency, intellectual property, government, education, markets, and anything else which those who presently “run” use to grift, throttle, and steal from everyone else. i am direct democracy. open source anarchy, and the human rights of animals.
i know your head is hurting. that’s because you’re a poisoned retard zombie who is addicted to hate, exclusion, and power. it’s ok. i forgive us.
ok, so it’s not really “running for president”, it’s a business. it’s an inclusive, full-consensus cooperative which has a human rights floor and a uniform hourly ceiling (everyone makes exactly the same per hour), and is a housing operation whose goal is to include every shelter, a tool/resource/bike/vehicle library which includes every one of these things on the planet, and a babblefishesque translator that lets the “what we call things” be crowdsourced, or more precisely, cloudsourced. i know, you think it’s impossible, which is why we think the other deserves death. we don’t actually, but getting there is going to require a transition the likes of which has never occurred yet on this planet, at least that we know of. given what i’ve been learning by reading velikovsky’s “worlds in collision”, that’s not actually saying much, though. we (the conventional wisdom) know next to nothing.
ok, so the other reason that “running for president” is a misnomer of sorts is that i don’t actually want to be the boss of anything. i don’t want executive power, i don’t want to give speeches, or debate anything. i want to be able to live on a shoestring budget, eating clean, high quality plant-based food, and having as much sex as i feel like with whoever wants to have consentual sex with me. i don’t think that’s too much to ask. oh yeah, the data warehouse would facilitate those relationships, too. if you want to stand in the way of other people’s happiness, life, or health, we the people should kill you. yes, i think the vast majority of the participants in the present-day political process deserve to be put to death. yes, both the people ordering the killing through wars and those doing the killing. yes, both those who advocate not providing modern healthcare services to those who need them, as well as those who think preventing two people who want to touch each other from touching each other, regardless of the hateful excuse/tradition/rationalization cited. you can see why i’m not a popular choice for president. lol. i’m also against the death penalty. LOL.
i have two days of living under the roof of my mom’s for-sale house, which i think would be a near perfect place to begin this cooperative venture, which isn’t saying much because literally any place where it’s legal for people to live would be a perfect place for it to start. then, i go back to homelessness. i say, “go back” because i was homeless last time my mom asked me to leave aka kicked me out, aka evicted me from her property, except last time i had a crappy busted rv that was the greatest thing that ever happened to me, and despite being below almost any standard of living of civilized humans, was my dream house. i can’t wait to get back to being homeless, even though i haven’t been before, because homelessness is the most luxurious, yet difficult way to live i have never tried. are you keeping up? i didn’t think so.
after those two days, which if the last week, or five years, or entire lifetime of my shitty horrible wonderful luxurious spoiled privileged life as a whipping boy outcast are any indication, are going to be constant torture/anxiety/freedom/bliss compared to what follows, my plan reverts to canvassing for this co-op. presidency. i mean, that’s what i’ve been doing on twitter/wordpress/facebook for the entire time i was there, but those digital versions have failed to garner, well, any actual support, supporters, help, or pleasure. that’s not true at all, but mostly it is. lol. i was ready to hang myself two days ago, and nothing has changed, except everything. i was ready to jump under a train two months ago, but getting near a train makes me remember that i love the outdoors and trains, so i tend to be not as suicidal when i get there. if i can survive living in my mother’s empty house for two more nights, i will probably be ok. i have literally no idea whether that’s true. i had an rv to sleep in last time i was homeless. i’ll probably be dead in less than a week. do you realize how dangerous it is to put a horribly depressed outcast with severe social/phone anxiety out in the street? clearly you don’t, or you wouldn’t be a capitalist/christian any more. don’t even get me started.
ok, so i start canvassing for this anti-profit business which staunchly enforces human rights and consent of the “governed” which will effectively eliminate what most of you retarded assholes consider to be your “rights” to invade, abuse, and poison each other under the current duplicitous war/fiat regime. again, i forgive you. but seriously, cut that shit out. it’s fully inclusive, meaning it is meant to cover/serve/protect literally everyone on earth, from humans to dogs & cats to livestock to insects to fishes and fowl alike. at the same time, it’s voluntary, so you must choose to include yourself and participate. it sounds counter-intuitive, but that’s the only way it will work. what services and products does this business provide? housing and food, mainly. which includes maintenance, building, retrofitting, restoration, and retail service. it will take in all “wastes” of capitalism and use them for their highest possible use, according to those who have the least. it will provide retail services, if licensed to do so, from licensed professionals who will make exactly the same as the rest of us, as long as they give us everything they own/owe, so that they can be allowed to use/consume everything we have/make. get it? of course you don’t, you’re a capitalist slave who thinks it’s free. we might provide slightly more to those “professionals” for the time that they spend teaching the rest of us how they became professionals, by teaching or documenting their methods, processes, or certifications. why else would we take their debt and let them eat in our collective utopias? ultimately, everything will be in-house, and since our data will be better/cleaner than the governments’, and our standards will be higher/more-sustainable than any industry could possibly be, we will render the capitalist world completely irrelevant. we will become legislators/executives/tradespeople, so much so that the prospect of outsourcing those skills/responsibilities to unaccountable crooks would be nonsensical. i mean, it will become nonsensical to the former terrified lemming sheeple wage-slaves, in addition to me. lol. i’m not the only one who believes in this. ok, i probably am, but only because i haven’t shared it fully yet. ok, i’ve shared it fully, but my explanation is still from me, and is laden with insulting condemnation of myself and others. the whole thing has to be cloudsourced, including who exactly it is that is our representative that will occupy the ballot slot that will allow us to vote this thing into the national/state/municipal level. it’s scalable down to family-size, and up to as many planets as want to join. capitalism is intentional waste. this is flyweight communism/anarchy/humanity. i believe in you. i will stick around to get this herculean albatross off the ground. this spruce goose auto-piloted drone. this army of 3d printed self-driving off-the-grid rv’s that will carry us into space when they have to. you can borrow my imagination until you remember your own. then, whoever we decide would be the most likely person to “win” the election, and the most trustworthy to implement these plans, and the most inclusive facilitator of everyone’s wishes, and the most inclusive of non-condemnational inspirational speech-making, we will put on the ballot to compete against the capitalist war machine. i have been looking for this person for my entire life, and as far as i can see, it’s still me. i know you don’t believe me, because your believer was locked out of your control at birth and your education has dumbed you down and you’ve been so loaded with poisonous thoughts and violent examples of human interactions that you think i’m some kind of enemy, but this database, before we install it as the legal controller of all things on this great glorious planet, we will use to both find and make popular, the best person for the job. i ain’t met everyone yet, and i sorta really hope that someone else other than me will take on this huge responsibility of “running for office” and “writing economical/ethical policy” so that i’m not just talking to myself for the rest of my life. but honestly, i’ve been talking to myself for my entire life up to this point, so what difference does it make if y’all just keep letting capitalist politicians poison you and lie to you and deforest and dry up wetlands until this entire planet is just one big mini-mall parking lot. that’s hot.
besides being a union that doesn’t require you to tell, confront, or get permission from you boss in order to join, it’s also a tool library which is actually a distributed factory. it’ll also be a vehicle cooperative, a cloudsourced transportation service (like lyft or uber), but probably only when we incorporate existing cab companies into our offerings. did i mention it will include individuals, families, businesses, buildings, tracts of land, and municipalities, regardless of size? yeah, we’re going to make the planet into a networked, off-the-grid, permaculture food forest generator. and everyone will work exactly as much or little as they want, be exactly where and when they want, sleep as much as they want, and be credited in equity units for every single moment that they put into the operation. the society. the utopia. i don’t know yet, for example, what percentage credit the scouting of an included property will be, relative to its contribution, but i know that we will credit things both back in time, and forward in time. we will not destroy the fruits of our labors to manipulate prices, and we will use every possible resource for the most advanced use that we know of. we will clean up capitalism’s toxic waste sites, from mines to toxic waste dumps, to failed nuclear reactors. by using plants. by immediately ceasing damaging industries, regardless of their “profitability” in outsourcing harm. if capitalism, through the corporation, has been the great externalizing machine, this, and we, shall be the great internalizing mechanism. we will accept responsibility, we will bring liabilities under our umbrella, and we will provide the same luxurious gourmet living options to every last entity on this planet, because that is what we deserve. if we all got to work immediately, universally committed to the transition, i estimate initial set-up would take about a week. once in production, the goals will be health, fun, and growth. (8:28 pm)
(1:05 am) i just watched a movie called beastly. in it, a pretty boy gets “cursed” by getting face scars and a bunch of tattoos that make him look a lot better, imo. it’s beauty & the beast set in high school. in this cbs movie, his life is ruined. he hides this amazing artwork under a hoodie, never leaves the new apartment that his wealthy father gets for him so that he doesn’t have to look at him, and only he walks around at night. nph plays a blind guy in it, and the pretty boy with the tattoos & body mods that i wish i could afford is so mean that he makes neil patrick harris’s character seem nice in comparison. holy god. mary-kate olson plays a witch, who the hero insults horribly, multiple times. it’s so frighteningly offensive. of course i loved it. it made me cry. lol. i am a sucker for shitty movies.
last night, i saw after earth, starring will & jaden smith in an m. knight shalyman space flick where they crash-land on earth, which has become “uninhabitable” because creatures have evolved to kill humans. they really only show a huge vulture-looking raptor, large cats, and a pack of gorillas. the huge monster that can’t see, but finds & attacks humans by smelling their fear-induced pheremones, they brought that with them. this terrifying fear-smelling creature, i assume represents shallow, cruel, competitive humanity. bully culture. victim-blaming culture. this creature would hang corpses of humans it had killed from trees to scare others to make them easier to smell. the heroes practice a technique of fearlessness called “ghosting”. both the film and the special features showed a father-son dynamic that was petty, jealous, and patriarchal. while occasionally helpful and encouraging, it was more often belittling, condemning, and insulting. so, pretty typical of most father-son relationships.
before beastly, i re-watched back to the future iii, because i recently saw a youtube video that revealed a bunch of kennedy assassination and 9/11 references in the first two films. i feel sort of dumb for having been so entralled by these films as a kid. and now. hollywood is some insidious dark magic.
i also watched some bourne flicks. legacy was decent. and the first of the hobbit trilogy. i had already seen 2 and 3. poor smaug. lol. that’s what you get for hoarding gold and taking people’s houses, though. the impression of the lotr trilogy from clerks 2 still pretty much describes those movies, however. violent racist colonialist piles of beautiful landscape & cgi. god, i love that..
i haven’t mentioned the audio/video sharing aspects of the cooperative library, have i? unique edits, to whoever would like to make them, so that censorship can be of violence and misogyny, not the condemnation of poop and body parts. you know the classification & ratings adminitration of the mpaa is run by the church and the movie theatre industry, don’t you? watch this film is not yet rated if you don’t.
in my home, there will be neither raw uncut hollywood movies, nor television, nor sports shown in common areas. triggering the meek with violent outburts is not a right of the majority, it is what makes bully culture so utterly intolerable for those of us for whom it is. these decisions will be made by property, by residents. sorting people by what type of entertainment they enjoy or can stand makes a lot more sense to me than sorting them by family and letting the patriarch abuse everyone else through his media decisions. full consensus means anyone can block an event which they would be hurt by, or which would contribute to a hostile living environment. yes, i think the standard american family is a hostile living environment. it has to be. how else would you convince so many people to go fight your wars for you for working stiff wages? the abuse of this culture is intertwined with its entertainment. whether we can detangle the cancer from the victim is yet to be seen. (2:06 am)
(10:43 am) lol. i answered the phone again. it just beeped. then i fell back asleep, and thought about my grandma and grandpa, and the bourne movies, and how i somehow got into my head the idea that people have been doing sex to me in my sleep, while i’m passed out, and without my knowledge or memory, for my entire life. then i went over more plans for dying. then i thought about the last time i had sex with another human, and got horny. my sex parts still seem to work, other than the ability to socialize or initiate contact or not be terrifying or a leech or whatever it is that i do to scare people away, or run away or whatever actually happens, i don’t know. i’ve never known. i don’t want it to happen like that, so it doesn’t happen. i don’t even want it to happen how it happens. but what do you do when you’re both there and need each other, and i think it was good. the funny, yet not so funny thing is that i have no way of knowing. everyone in this culture is keeping their cards close, because everything anyone really wants seems to be shunned, or shamed, or literally illegal. nobody wants to be put in a rape cage. who knows, maybe that would be better than this.
i would probably have to do a fresh crime to be caged, though. if the dvd warnings about “5 years” and “even without monetary gain” were enforced, i could get multiple lifetimes of government housing. but, i suspect, much like cannabis, it’s only actually illegal if you do make money off of it, or if you’re blatant about it, or if you’re not “white”. i hate that word. that word hates you. you mean all “those” people? mostly. hate is a strong, yet accurate word for my feelings towards “my race.” white supremacy, much like misogyny, is a hollow, fragile, jealous reaction. we are so inferior it hurts. yet all the responsibility gets lumped on our incapable shoulders. unless we shrug it off. and if you do, at least if you’re me, you become a pariah of the lowest order. the absolute worst things i’ve ever done weren’t even that bad. maybe they were. ask those who were there. i don’t actually hate anyone except myself, and even for that, i don’t really know why.
constant complaining. refusal to play along with the fascist machinery with which we so closely identified as a child, and which trained us to be how we are. i have to stand against it, yet i despise myself for doing so. i try not to condemn people who don’t deserve condemnation for the state that we are in, both locally and as a society at large. you know, we were born into this tradition. can you really blame someone for being born? apparently i can. because you can choose equality. you can choose humanism. you can choose permaculture and open source anarchy, and atheism. i recently saw a poll that said 53% of “americans” would be less likely to vote for an atheist politician. as if cash-cult doesn’t trump any organized religion. as if imperialist warmongering isn’t made up of people of every religious denomination on the planet. who knows, actually. all i can do is go by what i read, or watch, and how much of that is trustworthy? literally, how much of what i see with my own eyes, and feel with my own heart and soul, is trustworthy? all of it. and how. (11:11 am)
*eats another chocolate iced custard bismark & drinks another cup of yesterday’s coffee*
are we done writing about the co-op? i guess. we’re back to given up. oh, well that’s comforting. the panic brain keeps considering calling “health professionals” and asking if i can commit myself to some sort of mental hospital, but the only scenario i can imagine is disuasion, derision, and more frustration before they sluff me off like my family did. YOU GOTTA WANT IT. yeah, ok, coach. there is no help for people like you. who’s like me? exactly. uniqueness is a disease. they did break the mold after i was formed, but not before they 3d scanned it and told everyone that this is there enemy is all-too-vague terms, so that nobody really knows why they think it’s so utterly terrible even though it hasn’t actually done anything wrong, yet everyone knows it deserves eternal torture. lovely. christianity, no? among other things. police state crime dramas, too. aha. it’s colder today. feel like showering? yeah, i guess. i swear, you are more depressing to be around than you yourself actually are. i know. i have always said that my goal has always been to eliminate my role. does that necessarily include self-termination? do you see me stopping any other way? not without assistance. see. help with what? the utopia i’ve designed will “ruin” everyone’s “way of life”, as slave-like and programmed as it is. they’re more attached to fictional characters and the celebrities who play them than they are to each other. SHUT UP, MY SHOW IS ON. how are we any different? exactly. the world needs to be put out of its misery. i feel like i’m the only one standing in its way. you’re not the last girl-scout. i am nothing. i was born nothing, i made a bunch of innocent people who never deserved me feel like shit for doing the best option they saw, either feel like shit or just bolt. that is how we do, isn’t it. mostly bolt. fight or flight? what a colonialist fascist dichotomy. you are a lose-lose loser in a society of cannibals. i thought i was the creative intelligent one! well, i guess we were all wrong. i guess so.
remember how we used to delete the awful paragraphs. ahahahahahah, yeah. pretending we were an editor, rather than a stream-of-consciousness brain dump. WE DON’T WANT THE FULL STORY, WE WANT THE DUMBED-DOWN ENTERTAINING VERSION. i know. that’s precisely and exactly why i do this. oh, because you’re mean? pretty much. (11:33 am)
my life is proof-of-concept that you’re not allowed to help those most deserving of help. you’re not allowed to kill those who deserve death (except in direct and immediate circumstances), and you’re not allowed to share. if i don’t leave my corpse in plain view, nobody will even bother to look for it. i plan to come back as a bird or a cat. yeah right. your condemned soul will wander between purgatory and the eternal hellfires of damnation, much as it has done for your life in corporeal form. lol. that’s fine, too. (11:42 am)