my role, as i see it, is better you.  there seems to be a blockage, a lack of function where there once was function.  4:42 pm.

additionally, once you gain access to me as a resource, i am there.  you try to keep up with the people you love, because if they could ever manage to include your dreams into their own, you will all have to be ready.  are you not ready?  why not?  what is there, in the past, that is better than the present.  to have a person’s attention directed at you is a sacred thing.  i honor each of the moments of my life thus far when another’s attention was upon me.  i recognize that the relative positivity is almost irrelevant, being a fatalist makes life so much easier.  i met a mole today.  it darted across the road and path in front of me.

sous vide solar cooker with servo controlled louvers to heat, and wind/solar powered cooling for cleanliness and comfort.  healthy.

when would we want to block out the sunlight?  when we were at full capacity.  if all of the onboard heated water is heated, the system would have to include an overflow generator.  steam.  if you’re catching the steam effectively, or if you can convert the entire space into a sauna, hot tub, or solar dehydrator, the system may find uses for full sunlight at any exposure, including orbit.  why not?  if you’re building a machine to catch physical movement of gasses & liquids, photons and waves, why not make it to be able to work with the most extreme situation you can imagine.  there’s a good parallel there to the kafkaesque dystopia that is late capitalism.  i thought we were studying calculus.  we are.  excellent.  how?  it’s a technique i have for centering my mind when i have something important to learn/do.  every task is important, and learning new things is writing data on your brain.  or, cleaning off the spot where you know that thing.  what does it matter?  because if it is one, and not the other, you’re better off thinking of it in terms of either way, because then you’re covered.  do not restrict the ways in which you must learn.  when i wanted to learn more about math, birds taught me.  fish taught me.  the complexities of fluid mechanics make the hand-calculated, pencil-on-paper math that the gerontocracy forced everyone to learn how to hate before they’re allowed the computer technology that everyone who does this for a living uses every time they use this.  i don’t bemoan spoilers any more.  i will learn of it in whatever order i happen to learn of it.  if seeing a point in the future gives me another perspective on where i am, share.  hiding the ball is mean.  false yearning for a tiny percentage of actual information relative to what is known?  no.  full disclosure.  i have difficulty with loud, sharp noises, unless i don’t.  if the working environment presented to me is unacceptable, i will ask to move it, or leave.  i have spent most of my life alone, probably for reasons, but most people severely rub me the wrong way most of the time.  if you corner me and attack me with this information, i will likely not trust you in person much any more.  trolls.  it’s the competitivism.  it’s a subset of materialism and a juxtaposition of artificially limited commodities and the limitless infinity of source.  sol.  ra.  praises be.  oh mighty star.  5:08 pm.

i have downloaded 4 pdf’s about calculus.  they’re pretty good explanations.  math is good.

downloading pdf architect now.  upgrading firefox had me upgrade vlc (because it has a plugin there), and adobe pdf viewer.  this computer has adobe cs3 on it, but i rarely boot it now, since my tiny svelte smartphone does as much, calculations wise, with a lot less noise and volume.  she ain’t got that fullsize keyboard, though.  i am out of the habit of writing.  hardly.  we hit a horrible rut.  we live, in a horrible rut.  true.  doesn’t mean we don’t go deeper on all-too-frequent occasions.  and how.  too bad getting help requires diagnosis by people only reachable through a horribly nightmarous bureaucratic maze of telephone calls and demeaning legazese.  and how.  are you complaining about reality again?  um, no.  i have too much to say to get it all out at once.  great.  better keep typing then.  right.  and how.  lol. 6:15 pm.

being primarily a healer and animal communicator makes this job title thing seem disingenuous.  oh stop, it’s a stabilization and guidance gig.  this is what we do.  stand on my shoulders to look over that wall.  yup, here’s a boost.  i can’t do the actual artistic work for you, but i can show you as many angles on it as i can find.  i am trying to arrange myself such that i can see where you’re seeing this.  light itself is a limited commodity, if one is not allowed where it makes contact. 

monday, 5/18/15, 5:11 pm.  punching in.

good, i don’t like being let in on piecemeal work when i’m not really let in on the household.  are you in my property union?  then go away and let me work.  i have constituents to give design ideas to.  thanks.

fourth amendment, right.  brb. 5:24 pm.

apparently not.

tuesday, 5/19/15.  the goal for the day was to finish this post.  not turn it into something useful or palpable, mind you.  finish it.   6:24 pm.

so far today, i’ve listened to two new narcycist tracks, i’m most of the way through the new weedeater album, and i still haven’t seen the new beyonce/nicki minaj video yet.  it got colder, and i feel hella fat for being 188 lbs.  6’2”.  happy birthday, malcom x.

now watching a ted med talk by carl hart.

i have difficulty acting like a teacher.  i don’t know that much, and all i know is how to learn.  in other words, to change your mind.  learning, is changing your mind.  teachers, of the capitalist school system, have curriculum to follow.  they are enforcers of the canon.  the white supremacist, male-centric, cisgender, corporate monoculture.  who am i kidding, i revert to acting like a teacher.  i was schooled in this horrible system.  i was trained in violence culture, in rape culture.  i was told to be the alpha, and experience reinforced these orders.  it’s hit or be hit, and if you’re not willing to take on the role of the oppressor, you will be placed in the role of the oppressed.

7:42 pm.  these last few days have been strange.  i brought my mom’s bf’s bike from storage, and he liked it.  i gave him the rocky 10.  this post isn’t ready yet.  i know.  it was our one goal for the day.  i know.  that’s what you get for having goals.  lol.  it is, actually.  don’t give dictator rules.  it will break them. 7:48 pm.

wednesday, 5/20/15

how do you help someone who never stops inflicting pain on you?  very carefully.  what was i ever doing here, is the actually relevant question.  a laptop this wide oughta have a full width number pad, a corner control key, and properly oriented Home PgUp PgDn & End keys.  have you ever worked in excel using exclusively keyboard shortcuts & cursor direction commands?  move like tigra.  yeah thudercats, i’m still part 90’s kid, you realize.  i’m part all those things.  the normal things.  i suppress them, and amplify them to ridiculous volumes, simultaneously, it would seem.  ludacris speeds, cap. tainne.  you’re not bound by human law exclusively when you realize you’re not, exclusively, human.  that was my inner wild child, you’re honors.  my evil twin is an independent contractor for whom i do not pay any insurance premiums.  put that judge hammer down, ur hurting errybodies ears.

the brands i would permanently affix to my skin.  LazyAssWasteoid.  skyscaper permaculture, dropdead.  insect warfare.  sfn.  copeater.  fukpig, yacopsae, melt banana, idiots parade, junglepussy.  not napalm death nihilist cunt or cattle decapitation?  cephalic carnage?  i love that music, but i don’t want those words on me.  but copeater is ok?  hehehehe. yeah. 4:54 pm.

i just wrote a tweet about having less respect for cops than veterans.  i have very few interactions with law enforcement professionals.  the constant microaggressions of the faithful cattle of the machine aren’t really “interactions” because they’re always speaking to someone else. it’s a distancer.  i didn’t say that awful thing to them, only near them.  i am the most judgmental person that has ever existed on this planet.  you say it like that’s a bad thing.  the most powerful has to be the most discerning.  once this boot is removed from our neck, yes.  we will be the most powerful, by far.  the entirety of capitalism is the throttling of healthful flows of water, through living things, so that “profit” can be extracted and centralized in the overseers.  it’s the nature of heirarchy.  which is not to say that i don’t treat every human being that i encounter with relative respect.  you think so, do you?  i honestly don’t know what to think about how i am.  or, have been, anywhere.  i have a sort of vague confidence that it is what has kept me alive and isolated.  the isolation is a recent phenomenon.  no it isn’t.  people have no idea how much they isolate one another.  every time you say a hateful thing.  hateful.  do you want to help me, or tell me how shitty i am?  help.  what a joke of a word.  maintaining capitalism’s uber-caste system prohibits help.  as if there aren’t enough administrative blockades.  roadblocks made of meat.  part of the problem is the roads in the first place.  we ought be capable of travel without neverending ribbons of fallow fake rock upon which to burn the last few drops of our planet’s inner lubrication.  what happens when it seizes?  you’re seeing it.  mount everest is literally shorter.  yes, because you prefer high fructose corn syrup, fake sugars, and internal combustion engines for daily travel.  oh, you bougie gluttons.  i designed this utopia to be inclusive, and now i barely want to share the luxury that would be collectivist permaculture, just because you’ve all gotten so much worse.  the tv is worse, the movies are worse, and the braindead sheeple hating on everything not brand new & spotless are exactly the same as they’ve always been.  don’t hate on others’ roles, you know better than that.  WHY DO THEY SUDDENTLY TRY TO TREAT ME LIKE A HUMAN WHEN THEY’VE SPENT NEARLY A DECADE AVOIDING THOUGHT?  they will avoid thought until death, or, until a few moments before death anyway.  they want the symptoms of work without doing any.  they’re hoarding the work, and the property, the calories, the british thermal units.  in the wrong proportions.  as if there is a “correct” proportion.  get off this ego trip.  i claim nothing.  none of the matter, none of the words.  write it all again, if you think you can do better.  i will be the editor that you refuse to be.  uh huh.  the lurker leech reforms.  i’ll believe it when i see it.  fascist.  unabashedly.  i thought i had potential once, because people kept telling me that.  to do what, exactly.  push buttons to murder and throttle?  not likely.  selling poison to unsuspecting humanoid siblings?  can’t.  i physically can not.  my body locks up if i attempt any non-ethical task.  we’ve given up maintaining it.  stop, it’s behind schedule.  what are those bikes for, then?  that bike, more specifically.  we’re riding to california to work in porn & weed.  oh.  yeah, something i gotta do. 5:29 pm.

posted that tweet, with another calling kofi annan a globalist shill.  you should probably be reading me over there if you care about anything.  you don’t, do you.  that’s ok, nobody does.  lol.  not going to finish this post today, are we.  probably not.  i think we’re done being a blogger.  did we ever actually start?  having a place to post on the internet is going to be essential, for life.  did we ever actually have a life?  not really.  it takes everything literally, and it calls out every instance of abuse.  my characteristics don’t entitle me to anything more than you.  7:24 pm.

dictator tells us our band is going to be called ginger now.  yes, like the synonym for gently, the spicy root, and the dimunitive dismissive for redheads.  it’s racist as fuck.  i know.  we have to take it back.  that’s ridiculous.  i am.  it will be the most face shredding grindcore.  no, it won’t.  it’s just an idea, one of a billion nobody reads, understands, or acts upon.  why are you such a downer today?  haven’t had any coffee for a few days.  i still feel trapped.

playing the victim.  as if this is a joke, to anyone.  all the fascist capitalists who refuse to think about society or food or anything in any way other than how things are, these are the demons.  my inability to work with violent people is not my demon.  all your language is so violent.  everything’s a competition.  everything’s adversarial.  it’s either this, or that.  it’s a two-party system.  you lose, or you lose even more quickly with slightly fewer insulting things said about you and everyone you care about.  those aren’t choices.

it’s 57 degrees, according to the bank sign.  7:44 pm.  it feels cold.  i have put most effort into my electronic campaign.  your refusal to look at it isn’t my lack of effort.  as long as people refuse to rely on one another for governance, entertainment, and production, nothing will change.  oh, things change all the time, but nothing of substance shifts.  the same small-minded judgments, the same inability to think anything but the western cannon.  i don’t actually know, anything about you.  all that i feel that comes off of you hurts, so i stay away.

the library stole their ten minute announcement from shopko, i theorize.

this post is not very educational yet.  i know.  it probably won’t ever be.

outline for the loose-end tying ending:
· what it is
· how i join
· where it is
· what are our freedoms?
· nice. 7:51 pm

hi. 5:14 pm thursday, 5/21/15.  waupaca public library.

it is, a living organism, composed of volition of participatory entities.  it is a place to live, a way to work that involves as much or as little interaction as you prefer, and a log of art/technique/food/land, to be shared amongst the participants, for the directly proportionate benefit of the contributors.  permacultural open source survivalism, and realtime direct democracy/interaction/currency.

you may join now, by saying so, by asking, which is to begin writing the script to your property.  eventually a video log will populate a database of dimensions, species, and substance.  for now, go with your interests with the designs.  sculpt the land in your imagination, or a scale model, and we will task-mob it in a weekend.  the computer can generate the task schedules.  all we need tell it is the process and dependencies.  we will essentially be pieces of a 3d printer, run by a robot.  are we here to work, or are we here to work?  this vehicle will serve as mobile housing/restaurant/generator, if need be.  high-tech transformer bike campers.  high capacity/throughput water storage/filtration apparatus throughout.  essentially lightweight rooms whose structural elements are capacitors, and a network of flywheels, gyroscopes, and multiple simultaneous inputs/take-offs.  it’s a wind/electric line shop house.  all the benefits of the industrial revolution, with its own trash, disguised as one of its “cars”.  if you want.  all unique.  no two may be exactly alike, less as a prohibition than a commitment to improvement.  every seperate technique in it, the computer cooling pre-heater, the rocket stove water loop, the cardboard/woodgas extraction, the biodigester toilet and compost grinder.  we can burn all that stuff much more efficiently.  specifically, in the water heater, if the water hammer heater isn’t more efficient, in the wankel generator/pump, a bank of rotary engines contributing simultaneously or seperately to electrical generation, or water/fluid systems movement.  kinetics will be by one to however many primary electric motor(s), and a cascading set of other motors, recovered from consumer goods, for maintenance, testing, retooling, and education.  these will be rolling hackerspaces that the users may implement designs from the cloud.  it will already be capable of being a sauna, hot tub, sous-vide robot, and a self-driving electric car, while you sleep.  think to yourself, i am hal’s printer.  you’re going to help me put this thing together, because my hands are too big, and i am only one person.  the design of this is to be able to accommodate as many as everyone.  as much as everything.  infinity to the nth power.  are we getting too specific?  dictator has a vision.  it doesn’t know how to get people to care/help, given its conditions/sensitivities.  voluntary e-boss.  this is the best i have.  this is the culmination of a lifetime of study.  this is me, wanting to grow. 6:07 pm.

it is wherever we are.  it doesn’t exist actually yet, because i haven’t scripted the scraper to extract canvassing scripts from this blog/brain yet, but that will be developed along with the app.  no participation method will be essential.  those prohibiting will be subject to communal remedies.  our goal has to be health, so wherever that’s the goal, we already are.

what are our freedoms?  health, function, communication, and movement, kinetic, electrical, chemical, and elemental.  crimes in the name of fictional delusions ought not be revered.  freedom to direct communication with everyone allowed on our properties.  we will eat together before or as a part of working together.  we will provide alternative arrangements for those whose abilities differ from our own.  6:22 pm.

the first convention/camp will build the parsers.  we might as well let robots do it.  meat robots. ahahahahahahahahah. either one, really.  what do i care?  i just want to go live in the treetops, clouds, and on still lakes miles from any previously described “civilization”.  spaceship for earth.

it’s a hack, to get people to be in one anothers’ presence again, for common healthful purpose, not the dissipation of collective pain & frustraton (that’s what the weekly fights are for), but to build the actual infrastructure which will sustain our ridiculously spoiled lifestyles.  we just have to design it to be extended to every last person as the default.  every step of the way.  we have task for you if you want them, and we can crowdsource your dream designs.  mine can be the practice run.  the prototype.  i probably won’t stick around unless i’m incorporated into a property, and once we have attained freedom of movement.  how does credit in a car/bike-sharing system not count as freedom of movement?  6:32 pm

~ by LazyAssWasteoid on 2015-05-21 (Thursday).

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