my natural inclination is to pick things up

paces, stuff on the ground, people’s spirits.  i try to keep up my tolerance to make the daily constitutional more tolerable.  plenty me type killaz holler regardless.  i feel like an infant before everyone.  their all goo goo gah gah and im all what is wrong with you quit ow stop why are you talking about me like i’m not here. emotions are illegal?  oh great, this reality.  if it seems to be set on impossible mode, it just means you mastered the lower easiness somewhere along the way.  or wanted to try it out, without possible chance of future, survival, let alone winning.  SINE ME UPP SNOTTIE. pigpen. what?  reminder call today.  IGNORE. control heartbeat.  steady.  listen to voicemail.  reminder.  tomorrow.  k.  good.

the life and adventures of agent u.  agentually.  age ent chew ali. ag en jewely.  u bout busted the springs on that goatse bandwagon, sis.  cripes.  5:26 pm.

life is a video game.  i just saved my progress.  i haven’t actually shared much of anything.  as a participant in fascism, i want to bargain with the cloud/house/commons for my survival/life.  i don’t have much, but i’m out of practice, and not really into stiff-arm relationships.  nobody seems to be handing me the keys.  i never had much interest in depth.  skim through life on executive summaries.

dictator is running prison scenarios now.  designing open source 3d printed gardening tools with fellow inmates.  or a project plan submission to the employees of the prison to a communal rebuilding of the facility into off-the grid communal housing rebuilt by family and friends of everyone admitted by full consensus through quasi-public permaculture projects on any and every property any of them control.  we submitted this proposal to the municipalities of earth years ago.  most of them are literally offended by it.  they’ll probably start injuring their children “by accident” and loudly, dangeerously using their factory tanks disguised as, huge hurtful wastes of precious resources maintained by oppression, violence, and the caging of thinking organisms for a variety of ridiculous excuses.  infinite personality disorder.  we’ve heard this one.  next.

oh yeah, we heard about you.  blacklisted at the firewall level.  everyone that can see you does.  nobody else even can using this infrastructure.  you’re a ghost.  you might feel like you’re saying things to the outside world.  the “universal” in universal resource locator.  we can work on this at home.  do we need a keyboard or a writing surface?  where are we going to take the call?  i say park.  shouldn’t we just be home with internet & toilet.  it’s going to take an hour.  yeah.  the waking up for a 1:15 call is the hardest part?  no, the time traveling.  back to being a citizen.  and, don’t even say it.  we all know what you were.  do you now.  you were there? or you heard from someone who was.  you are an invasive.  you are a disease.  leave us alone.  that i do.

hollywood psy ops triggers, don’t matter who you thought you became.  we can put you back through the wringer.  yes, oh great and holy public resume.  lol.  i might have some somewhere.  i reported everything all the relevant years.  pretty sure nobody has liked me or wanted me around, including and especially me.  our root chakra is doing backflips right now.  it has a cyst.  it has thousands.  i have three dollars and all my shit.  i want to build myself a house with it that pays back everyone who helps on it proportionally both in how much they get back and how much it can make.  the freelance job of freelance jobs.  automated cloudsurfing via waste streams.  uber-n-bee baefinda globe trottr.  every warez u want of b?  quite. 5:48 pm

my body’s not going to let me do this.  it just locks up.  it’s like a steel wall.  gently rapping on it now to test its thickness.  government gongs are always the best tone.  did i condition myself to this, or is this my manchurian candidate implant kicking in?  is this us hacking our brain’s counter-survival instinct?  something.  salvation?  hardly.  if i was paid to do nothing i will be free to assist friends for cost.  isn’t that what we do now?  no, you are still in hibernation mode.  we’re speaking directly to the higer self in these transmissions.  infinitely variable double inverted cones & planetary gearing switches.  hydrostatic variables with inputs for every passenger/passerby.  remember that car in scoobie doo that went up on stilts and came back down on and hid smaller cars inside it?  yeah, but i thought scoobie doo gave you nightmares.  one episode did.  up until then i think i pretty much loved it.  the sounds, & i always feel like animals are participatory characters that fascist speciesist assholes insult and dehumanize right to their faces, so people treating a dog like a person was i thought a good thing at the time.  apparently.  get control of this time machine, sir.  no chance of that, really.

well, we filled out more of that phone cheat sheet than i thought we would.  i have realistic expectations.  they will probably deny me and i will have to brave seeing/talking to another doctor about my state.  can this rebalance me?  how could it not.  it’s a lottery ticket.  it’s slightly better odds than that.  better spend that last three dollars on the lotto, though.  three dollars.  my life is a clown show.  is it good?  i don’t have anything to compare it to.  it seems pretty godawful compared to how everyone else seems, but everyone else seems to have their own difficulties with things that don’t seem to bother me.  it’s a strange trade off.  don’t become homeless if you can avoid it.  it doesn’t really develop character, so much as splinter it.  i am a pile of shards now.  good luck with that.  heh thanks.

7:40 pm the list of disorders that describe me is kind of funny.  if you think tragedy is comedy.  it’s a strange thing to have to trick your own brain into doing things.  bargain, plead.  i am not as capable of controlling it as some other people are.  it’s quite a phenomenon.  be well, whatever that means for you.

~ by LazyAssWasteoid on 2015-02-26 (Thursday).

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