food processor/ninja


dictator making us type. good. that helps me think. ooh. admitting your existence? clever.

we’re not nearly as sick as you think. the biodiversity of my body is substantial. rich. monoculture is the opposite of rich.

off the grid food truck designs are pouring into my skull like i’m a thin-processing client with an actual cooperative network on the ground. BRICK AND MORTAR. calm, you. yessir. tell them about the webbing. WE’RE GOING TO MAKE STRETCHABLE NETTING OUT OF THINLY SLICED ALUMINUM CANS SPLICED AND WOVEN AND SHEETED WITH EPOXY. ok, yes. tell them about the hemp layer HEMP FOR INSULATION AND CUSHIONING AND IT’S GOING TO BE A FULL-ON EARTHSHIP. like, a traveling one. the truck doesn’t support the house any more. the house sits by itself. the house attaches itself underneath. the house helps pull itself. the truck whole rig is built for speed. road speeds if we’re feeling snailish. WE’RE TALKING WARP SPEED TO PARIS MY DREAM CITY DOESN’T ALLOW INTERNAL COMBUSTION PROPULSION AND I WANT TO GET THERE AS QUICLY AS POSSIBLE. for that reason? for lots of reasons. brush up on my french. it’ll make next winter’s return to nola to meet our barge full of stuff from up north, including the car, that much more enjoyable. are we finally going to apprentice in the hemp processing industry. yes. in france? where else? ARE YOU A CUTTING-EDGE PERMACULTURE FARMER, OR ARE YOU WORKING FOR THE ENEMIES OF THE ENTIRE PLANETARY ECOLOGY. there are other things you could be doing, FOOT DRAGGER. good one, shaggy. nice braids. thanks.

9:11 pm. love you.

potential menu rn:

kale salad with pickled bean sprouts & pepper garlic mustard balsamic dressing

breakfast burrito with organic chicken & turkey sausage, eggs, & cheese

grilled cheese

vegan barbecue on gluten free bread

soy chicken strip quesadilla with vegan cheese

french toast

that might be it for now. i have sour cream, vegan sour cream, cottage cheese, some really good yogurt, and some jams & jellies, plus some organic sriracha, some crazy hot black widow hot sauce, and louisiana hot sauce. stuff fried in butter. sweet & savory.

we have to add flour into this mix. we have to get the oven fixed. we have to create sufficient electricity or find sufficient electricity to make bread. SOLAR OVEN AS PART OF THE INFRASTRUCTURE. yes, indeed. solar dehydrator, too. some of this kale could be ground down to green superfood. we should get a hand grinder. a blender? no. it’s going to have to be bike-driven. it’ll come of the kitchen pto. your kitchen has a power-take-off for appliances? yep. it’s driven by the flywheel, which is driven by wind, solar, and me. pedal power. yes, the dog can help. yes, you can pull that cable and help, or sit there and pedal. or, climb up there and have your weight pull down as a counter-balance. it all adds to the energy of the flywheel, which cooks and cools all this food. yes, please have a shit in our noise-sheilded open-air composting toilet. we are a full life-cycle housing cooperative. and how.

i thought you were an off-the-grid certified kitchen/home-building cooperative. we are. i thought you were a farm network and value-added processor collective. we are. i thought you were a design and engineering firm. we are. and the bike trailers & custom bike-like transport apparatus? yes, we do all of that. dictator has his fingers in many soups. yes, we have a stewpot and a rice maker. yes, the rice and beans are going to have to work their way onto this menu. we are still burning fossil fuels here, people. yet somehow, i live in this reality. it all exists. i float around the planet regularly. the most beautiful beings preen and sing before me. everyone laughs. being dictator is good.

why do you call yourself dictator? it’s my title at LazyAssWasteoid InDusTrees. i am AN dictator, not THE dictator. unless there isn’t another ceo slash executive who prefers the title. in which case, by default, i would be, the. dictator. i can’t be the only one. someone should put out an inquisition. a what? an investigative commission. ah. absolutely. dictator flings our meat about wildly as both projectile, applicator tool, exploratory scout, and matchmaker for itself. good luck with all that. hey thanks. we can all use luck.

you still trine tah has a bb? yes. please. babies are adorable and baby-making is fun. true dat. not that i don’t have momentary family wherever i go. you do. we’d like to take up permanent residence somewhere. semi-permanent. ehehehehehe. PUNS INTENDED!.

post this before it gets stupid. fuck. TOO LATE!

lol. sir, i don’t think the people will mind.

i picked the fauburg marigny because it sits next to the french quarter, and it’s a historic district full of transplants. yes, there is what some people call gentrification here. there is also intersectionality, and this city moves. it’s a good hiking city. it’s a great biking city. the parks are beautiful. the music is essentially non-stop. go find the places you like. i am an odd duck. i hang out with other homeless outkasts. sometimes job havers, but not always. i am back at my home-base who dat coffee cafe right now. i don’t think i’m going to make that dressing tonight. might bike to the bywater. really? yup. you’re just going to declare that all your delectable foods are locked securely in the food truck place. as we do. oh good, you’ve disassociated again. we never really associated in the first place. are you sure. or was it that we never diss associated. we never diss anyone. that’s rude and unnecessary and could get one rightly killed. amen. amyn. arwyn. today was a good day. we needed one of those. yes. we should have another one tomorrow. yeah. we should finish this one good, too. i agree. biking, then? we may just have to.

i’m running for president of the united states. please write in tyler tavy kelm mertes on any ballot spot where it is allowed and where you think i would do a good job. i am here for the common good, and to make really beautiful human children with someone very different from myself. sweet. let’s go do that. tonight? you have better ideas? not really.

love you. that is, THE order.


~ by LazyAssWasteoid on 2014-04-21 (Monday).

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