sext

you speak only in gesture, coos, moans.  nothing is left unsaid

 

me

ervy day.  huss a ling

‘udge’enda

• capitalism as cult of violence
• room elephants
• survival as love

do you really think that there are unexpected consequences?  well, you’re wrong, or you’re frightfully lacking in foresight, or logic, or you’re so buried with lies that zero truth escapes from the black hole that is the void where your fascio-materialist heart used to be.  ok, now look at the organic possibilities.

i keep listening to fatty boom boom, and it’s such a beautiful anti-american diatribe.  hey fatty boom boom, hit me with the ching ching.  wow.  nothing like being respected by the artists who are singing for you.  no wonder you zombies can’t hear the good stuff.  it strikes a nerve.  the ball side of a ball peen hammer concentrates the force on the point of a sphere, which can do more damage than the flatter face.  arcs are cool.

capitalism.  i’m getting sick of using this word, as it’s a sick word, but we have to examine it.  capitalism is the belief that the existing system of allowing a tiny group of people to dictate, and thereby destroy, vast tracts of physical resources, and kill untold numbers of humans and other organisms.  this belief is now, psycopathic, as far as i can tell.  i mean, i was a psychology major for two years.  it has zero concern for actual reality, and it forces its adherents to exclude from consideration, everything else.  how completely insane can you get?  honestly, i’m claiming non-capitalism as my religion from now on.

ok, so you’ve convinced me that it’s a cult.  how is it a cult of violence?  what is violence?  exclusion.  i thought it was closer to invasion.  invasion, under this descriptive paradigm, would qualify as the rejection or exclusion of the invaded’s will, desire, or preference.  under capitalism, cash value is the determining quality as to whether one’s desire or preference matters.  if you cannot pay, you do not exist.  get it?  the rest of it follows from that.  ok, well if one refuses to submit to any amount of capital, whether it be “getting a job” or “renting a living space,” one is required to suppress one’s own political view upon penalty of exclusion, and therefore death.  it’s the cult of insanity, really.  cruelty incarnate.  any notion of family is null and void if you place only economic demands on a person, with zero consideration of their stated preferences.  now, unstated preferences are, in a sense, another matter.  there is a base “human right” to non-exclusion, under my “moral philosophy” if that’s what this is.  but capitalism is this huge weird juggernaut of thought, and it has incorporated arguments and gross distortions of statistics to make itself say that it isn’t doing exactly what it is doing.  it’s baffling, really.

so morals are right on the tip of everyone’s tongue, just like capitulism.  i like calling it that because it requires one’s mental enslavement to a bizarre, self-contradictory pattern of thought and action that will necessarily drive you crazy.  yes, yes it does.  capitulate and capitalism.  the portmanteau.  you kids should play with your grammer more orften.  gramm arrrr  9:37 am.

i know, early, right?  my commute takes me past “curves” and i think it’s hilarious how crapitulists (see what i did there?) conflate any criticism with moral good now.  why wouldn’t they?  their trainer is a completely irrational, manipulative abuser (the tv), and it hits all their pleasure points with orchestrated precision.  people who “defend” their “right” to be fat, as if pointing out that it’s an indicator of ill health is a necessary scolding of one’s own choices.  no, your fucking tv hits you with that shit.  let’s just actually move towards health instead.  this is the shortcut.  fucking retards on the painfully scenic route.

yes, it hurts yourself to reject other humans like this.  every awful tweet that mentions some imagined competitive or violent confrontation between characters is mal-forming you at the dna level.  yes, yes it is.  but, what happens when you see/read that type shit?  you get a sort of endorphin rush.  omg, i almost died.  or, in my imagination where i met this person they ended me (sidenote: no1 ever really dies), or chopped off one of my limbs that took me a lifetime to grow, or left me handcuffed to a headboard for the maid to find.  if i am restrained, it is against my will.  i do not fetishize your near-death suppression of consciousness.  i know you think you’re concentrating the flow by restricting it as you are, but you’re quite literally strangling yourself in some bizarre auto-erotic burn-the-world and all of its healthy connections.  insanity

room elephants?  those are the people with a personal skin, or aura, thick enough to take whatever ridiculous bizarre lies are thrown at them, and return their own honest conception about what was happening.  i don’t hit.  i shut down.  i think that’s far worse.  you do hit, too.  what?  yeah, any time you hit him, he’ll hit you back, approximately ten times harder.  fucker tossed 60-lb potato bags/boxes for 8-hour shifts.  i wouldn’t test your diseased little frame’s ability to withstand one of its strikes.  best trust first, and once you are adopted, no harm will come to you.  what?  it means you have an open invitation to my orphanage.  that’s what it’s called.  the orphanage.

you don’t think i could “straighten up” a feral child?  (what a disgustingly masculine phrase, eh?)  you don’t think i haven’t?  you don’t think i am one of those?  ferals flow, without lying to themselves.  if you inflict harm, you title means nothing.  nothing.  probably the best result of this cult of fascist violence is the understanding of its absence/adoption/admittal will ultimately provide.  9:53 pm.

many times i walk back from the bathroom, here in the lovely downtown waupaca public library, i catch the cover of psychology today.  it’s a face, painted yellow with a black nuclear symbol (☢) on it.  in big letters, it says, “DIFFICULT PEOPLE.”  for who is more difficult than the cult of violence?

symptoms:  delay.  this is built into every aspect of the “legal” system whose vile, putrid streams flow out of crapitulism.  you are only allowed to act, or to express your opinion, in an extremely limited way, and only in a narrow window.  what’s the opposite?  reply whenever you want.  the only “deadline” is a reasonable amount of time to consider the details of a proposal or to inquire about specific details, whether they be over management, budget, or process.  violence cult conflates all of these things, too.  “management” is badgering to restrict the underling’s actions to only cult-sanctioned acts, statements, or thoughts (yes, it attacks thoughts themselves).  “budget” is the forcing of non-existant humans to “productive” (again, by the cult’s extremely limited conception) action, while keeping them disconnected from any notion of ownership or personal connection/liability for the act itself.  glorified psychopathy, is what it is.

within the cult of glorified psychopathy, there is constant disease and friction, because there is no logic.  there is only “weight of history/evidence,” which can be restricted to the point that it shows the opposite of reality.  you cannot realistically tell me that the best person to be making “policy” decisions (nanoscale) is the one who has a scripted and definitive answer to a presumptuous and assumption-laden question, also scripted.  ok, you can tell me, and you do, by the fact that these pathetic retards are still getting actual votes from the horribly-paid slaves who are only prompted to action by annoying them to the point of tears by interrupting their manipulative poison-flow in highly “regulated” time periods.  ok, that half hour is done, next story?  you realize that you just ruined someone’s life there, right?  it is your problem.  we are all a part of this world, and the growing pile of people you berate, badger, and disrespect is getting ridiculous.  are you kidding?  if the cult of violence isn’t a study in ridiculosity, i don’t know what is.

talk more about the thick-skinned people.  i like them.  ok.  most have been abused prenatally.  yes, chemically through poison intake, and auditorially, by being in the same building/vicinity as tv violence.  you know that scene in pulp fiction where bruce willis and his cute french girlfriend talk about getting preggers and prenatal violence?  yeah, if she was pregnant, listening to war movies on the tv is completely counter-survivalist.  those scripts and wavforms which we have internalized, of machine gun fire and human wails, barking of definitive orders, and precious organic soil obliterated by concentrated flame, these are abuses of all of us.  the next stage of humanity will not allow that kind of pain infliction on one another.

i am nearly out of soap, cash, and reasons to remain in this stagnant, diseased, foot-dragging environment.  none will acknowledge the criticisms leveled at them, let alone the proposals for alternate valuation, distribution, and decision-making.  if you maintain a stranglehold on decisions, you restrict potential acts to your personal acts.  to stand in the bottleneck and pretend to be distracted by something minor and completely unrelated is probably the least respectful way to ignore someone.  we learn these things for the purpose of healing.  read it again.  and again.  are you kidding?  quit reading that.  once is enough.  you don’t have to re-hash these issues over and over.  once they’re presented, let them sit.  people will arrive at them as they are able, or not.

i think there’s a difference between setting a minimum standard and ruling out every possible act that might disrupt our current income flows.  be wary of your local farmer’s organization.  chances are, it is run by the same mob mentality that runs the banks and law firms and construction companies.  not mob mentality like free-flowing, organic decision-making of the reactionary variety, but mob like we will literally remove your person from this plane of existence if you refuse to play by the only game in town (concrete shoes, whacked by a made-man type “mob”).  there is no logic left once the foundations have been exposed.  refusal to address the only item on the agenda is a sign of a complete disconnection from reality.  where on god’s green earth are you people?  it’s like you’re stuck in a crappy looping “patriotic” video that manages to insult your intelligence and every category of being except the people who have cash.

i will trade time with people, but only people that prefer to spend their time with me, and only for as long as they want.  under what conception does a written proposal constitute violence?  well, if it disregards actuality.  if it is one-sided.  that’s duress, in legal terms.  contract law is rich for fairness concepts.  my girlfriend and i during law school discussed many things in those terms, quite comfortably.  i don’t think we were willing to bring the most relevant points of discussion to spoken admission, but i suppose the points were made.

you keep talking about how i am the one who refuses to grow up, yet my understanding and willingness to associate and work with humans and organizations is restricted to those which i consider moral actors.  not people who “go to service” and treat each other like crap the rest of the time, but an actual examination of all of our acts and interactions.  i know a lot is contained in what i just said.  what part do you want to look at?  oh, that’s right.  you already have a neat little pre-packaged reality that already answered all of these questions to a much greater degree of verbal back-flipping than you yourself are capable of producing, eh?  you think that excuses you of responsibility?

• http://www.pledgemusic.com/projects/erinmckeown
• http://thecostofliving.bandcamp.com/releases
• http://sswampzz.bandcamp.com/album/sleeper
• http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Recursion
• http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2012/may/01/shell-wind-power-capitalism
• immortal technique http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JifwcZ9m04g

the constant desire to recycle materialist posessions hits a wall where all it really does in practice is reinforce the culture of consumption.  if you produce waste, only to turn it into a planter, you are not a steward of the earth.  you are an apologist for structural waste.  big difference, greenwasher

no, i mean that your “upcycling” is taking a completely functional device, whether it be a toilet tank, rake, or building, which is usable as that, and using as something which is either completely unnecessary or of a much lower use.  fascism forces these lower uses.  that’s how it continues to charge so much for the extremely limited places where it allows humans to live.  it’s an insidious shitstorm, this crapitulatism.

i had a fantastic chat with my cousin this morning.  hour and a half, maybe?  he’s my dad’s little sister’s youngest, and a quick one at that.  i say things to him like “school is debt entrapment” and he replies with stuff like “i’m beginning to see that.”  we all have the necessary capabilities to run our own lives.  to think otherwise is to fall into the trap of the cult of helplessness.

to believe, or buy into a pre-packaged notion without checking into its formations, or overall mission, is irresponsible.  any organization claiming “locality” or “home-grown” whatever ought to adjust and modify its mission to accommodate each and every additional human which joins it.  it must.  the world will not bow to an unchanging juggernaut of power any more.  we are leaning that very lesson right now.

if my crapitulatalism-as-violence hasn’t convinced you, do the actual wars themselves?  who funds those wars?  these are not “volunteer” troops.  they are paid mercenaries for the capitalist bankers.  they are paid only as much as it takes for them to not be called “slaves” any more, and their “service” is conditioned upon a variety of promises by the apparatus which it consistently fails to deliver.  if it did, they wouldn’t be its slaves any more.  it is an unending loop, this catch-22.

capitalism’s assumptions are espoused with every disrespectful question.  it refers to non-participants in its horribly unfair allocation and distribution as only insulting terms.  it doesn’t address any substantive claims.  how could it?  a nonsensical system of thought repression cannot move past its pre-set boundaries. necessarily.

i give a lot of shit to timequakes, don’t i.  most stories are dystopian, in this horrible pathetic destructive hell which crapitulatism forces on all of us.  of course narratives of this plane of existence are going to be about “unwinnable” wars by stout-hearted, efficiently-fueled rebels.  the only narratives that can “sell” are based on these wars, for the same reason that logic isn’t allowed.  destruction is the name of crapitulism.  it is its purpose, its intent, and its means.  cooperation is only amongst a select group of “experts” whose thoughts have been massaged and repeated for years.  anyone with actual mathematical ability gets forced out of the study of anything of actual use or applicability and into infinite loops of useless trivia.  although the uselessness of the “facts” which they study is frightfully popular amongst the poisoned masses, this diversionary tactic serves only to squash dissent amongst humans. 1:37 pm

i’m watching this thing my cousin recommended.  it’s a lot of fast cuts and explosions, space travel, and a bunch of kill-or-be-killed interactions.  who does that?  only those who benefit from the plunder of resources that inevitably occurs in the aftermath.  poor people, you cannot contribute to the furtherance of humanity by taking up arms.  that is the ill-founded logic of your retardo-cult.  knock that shit off

i feel like i’ve been typing all day, and it’s only 2 pm.  i guess a few pots of coffee is all it takes to get out of a nocturnal phase.  perhaps that and standing up for one’s existence.  that will ease your soul far better than anything else.  beware the oppressor’s refueling of violent rage.  it is the only response it has.  that’s not a valuation statement, it’s a result of your own narrowly defined, short-sighted boundaries.  live free.

thanks for reading, world.
t

~ by LazyAssWasteoid on 2012-05-2 (Wednesday).