how did it go?

mom: “you
…have a mental illness”
…refuse treatments traditional and non-traditional”

that was really about it.  the rest of it was just her getting huffy and mean.  that’s it.  i told her she was the meanest person i’d ever met (again).  she yelled at me to stop saying it, and i said no, you’re doing it right now.  she is a cultist, just like the rest of you retarded zombies.  cult of dollars.  it’s the only valuation of anything that you believe in, and you refuse to interact in any other way.  it will come to an end soon, and i suspect the reason so many of you have stockpiled weapons is because if you can’t strong-arm your families into your own ridiculous cult, they shouldn’t be allowed to live.  this is the experience i’ve faced in my family, and from “friends.”  let’s look at that word today, shall we?

a man in here is wearing what looks like an old school hockey mask, but that covers his entire upper torso (rather than his face).  medical devices are a wonder, aren’t they?  we could make one of those out of any number of plant materials.  yuh huh.  there are numerous benefits to making something like that out of plants.  for one, they’re here.  yeah, you can use the dirt right outside on the land you already control to grow it.  that’s it, isn’t it.  we’re getting materials from public land.  thank you.

what if we called it a friendship cooperative?  that would defeat the purpose of your standard interactions, wouldn’t it?  competition is all i see around here, anywhere, from anyone.  honest.  honestly.  oh, you stopped listening at zombie retards?  hey, i call ‘em like i see ‘em, and you’re a brain-muching groaner.  yuh huh.

i haven’t sat in this seat in a while, if ever.  i can see see en en from here. is the bank.  program.  it’s the same as the military and the industrial food system which poisons you at your expense.  this machine abuses you and everyone else in every single thing that it does.  Health and Human Services is running ads for  how insidiously evil.  stuffed toys and fake [actually healthy] jobs that almost nobody is allowed to actually do.

help.  please help.  i don’t have any safe places to go where i can work during non-office hours and without paying.  i know that’s the world everyone has to work with, but i’m proposing an alternative.  i called it skyscaper permaculture, because i like the name.  if the name is what prevents you from listening, you’re shallow as a puddle.  fuck you.

here’s how it works.  we don’t use cash.  we treat humans with respect.  we grow our own food and materials.  we heal ourselves and each other.  the tracking of this stuff will be done at a standard unseen under the capitalist system of suppression and lies.  you can’t rightly call the united states democratic, because its purpose is to suppress/prevent/kill actual democracy.  oh, democracy?

here, i have no idea how democrats and republicans are actually chosen, not having been one.  i’ve worked around plenty of them, but from everything i’ve learned in life, college, and law school says that all the people who get approved share is an uncanny ability to lie, only and ever, about what they can/will do.  yes, can matters.  it’s your constitution.  you are the slaves of this business.  right now, you have no say.  no, voting is not a say.  if it were on paper ballots, amongst an open set of candidates whose ideas were shared where people could read them, in writing, and be held accountable for them afterwards, it would be something like a say.  right now, you get battered with advertisements, which are actually abuse.  yes, because the only things allowed to be made or sold hurt you.  all of the food in the grocery store, all of the crap in your precious wal-marts and k-marts and “convenience stores.”  it is either designed to break (planned obsolescence), is an overly-poisonous factory/chemical/byproduct which replaces a substance made of plants that works as well or better on the primary task and doesn’t have the “side effects” of the chemical version.  what does anyone care?  nobody is reading any of this, every single person on this entire moronic planet thinks you’re crazy.  you know how i know?  because everyone that hears me acts as if i’m not there.  i ask them to stop hitting me, and they laugh, knowing that i have no faith in or use for the police power of this nation, state, or jurisdiction.  you’re all retarded fucking bank slaves, and i can’t take being in the same room as any of you babbling about your retarded money cult.  fuck off. leave me alone.  you’d think being a slave would be bad enough, but no, every one of your worthless sacks of poison maintains your own enslavement by refusing to let anyone else speak in objection to your own adopted hate.

the most important thing is energy.  power, electricity.  the ability to move earth and plant matter into food-growing infrastructures rather than the death infrastructure which currently exists.  the enslavement infrastructure has to stop, too.  the entire prison and education industries, which are really extensions of the fascist banking system in the first place.  oh, you’re going to discriminate against me because i have tourettes?  eat shit and die.  oh, right, you’re already doing that.

the set of useful skills of capitalists is extremely limited.  most of what they do is get in the way.  stopping things.  crushing things.  yes, most.  the federal “reserve” cultists have years of experience telling us why people don’t want actual health or logically constructed things.  oh, and hilariously, even the polls taken confirm this.  people know, deep down, that if they begin to think like me [freethinker, labor-valuation], like this mysterious set of non-system-contemplated humans who do unexplainable things for which the only logical response is to kill them.  nuke them off the face of the earth with a remote control airplane or send a team of highly trained death monkeys to explode some gunpowder-propelled lead right into their meaty self.  hey, it’s the american way.

is this a comedy, or a horror?  both.  i mean, when it’s not a porn.  why are you so fucking terrified of sex, anyway?  they’re just plumbing systems.  all the stupid things you believe about “men” and “women” are as falsely fabricated as the retarded shit you believe about loans, money, and property.

7:17 pm.  i must apologize, to all of you.  no, not for swearing, for sharing everything i’ve ever learned.  i know it ruins your delusional fantasy, and that was kinda your bread and butter, huh.  well, now you’ll have to join me in open, honest, cooperative valuations of much healthier stuff than you’re used to.  i have the whole thing ready and waiting.

trivia’s almost over.  that shit is ear-punishing.  oz is ear-punishing.  you can always tell the local fascists because they make people feel all puffy-chested and proud about absolutely meaningless things.  o’hey, and next week marks the third anniversary of the last time i had any physical companionship.  great, that.

i’m pretty sure it’s 3 years.  i don’t really care, but that’s kind of a lie.  it’s not, really.  much like the rest of this, i’m not going to get into a competitive relationship.  i keep using that term.  it is the standard means of interacting with other humans now.  here’s how the awful, demeaning story goes, that all of you asstards participate in every fucking day.  boys make more money, so they get to be boss.  this means they can yell, hit, or restrict the flow of cash, or the use of “their” space as much as it takes to make anyone “beneath” them do exactly what they want.  because they received “an education” or “ran a business,” their violence is not only justified, it is expected.  if they do not fulfill the role as violently and unthinkingly as their masters require, their property will be taken away.  being that “man” is the only truly “good” possible way to be, all children, females, and animals are required to bow before it, and emulate it.

this is stupid, why are you reinforcing all this shit?  because people have to see, in writing, how fucking awful they are, every retarded moment of their pathetic and horribly depressing lives.  fuck this is sick.  no, the paternalism.  most of those fathers, dads, men, are no better, no smarter than their kids, wives, or employees.  in fact, they’re probably less well than any of them, having this massive and technically non-possible responsibility put on them.  not possible without enslaving others.  yes, enslaving.  you don’t let your employees raise the standard or quality of anything “your” business does, yet they are the ones who actually implement what occurs.

oh sure, most of the slaves don’t give a flying fuck how things work, as long as you don’t embarrass them any more than you embarrass everyone else.  or, if they’re lucky, slightly less than you embarrass anyone else.  those are the brown nosers, huh?  the ones that the boss says slightly less condescending and degrading things to because he wants to have sex with them, or wishes that he could be as free and comfortable with his own desires.  let yourself be, son.  oh, i know.  there are payments to make.

there are also numerous philosophers throughout history which disagree strongly with your way of interacting.  yes, it is your way.  you have adopted the ruthless violent cruelty of the bank itself.

do you not see how you must adopt the role of banker, but without the structural racist, sexist cruelty that the military-industrial complex adopts?  do you even know what those words mean?  you claim knowledge, but you only ever receive your information from the same place, the multi-national corporations which produce all of your television, radio, magazines, movies, mini-series, and advertisements.

i write this down because anytime any one of you pathetically self-loathing hatebots hears anything resembling actual truth or health, you begin arguing.  are you playing the “devil’s advocate” by preventing the description of this new, respectful way of interacting?  no, you’re actually being the devil.  so, thanks, satan.  the word of god has been given to your child, in the form of an ability to see magical lands which you are unable.  you know why they have imaginary friends?  because you are an utterly incompetent protector, teacher, or friend.  you run the fascist enforcement scripts presented by your fucking retard box.  you are little brother.  7:38 pm.  petite, bro.

i sit in front of the owner.  i think he’s the owner.  he plugged in my computer.  i want to talk to him, but i don’t know how.  there’s a mental blockage between us.  he has what i need, and he knows i have absolutely nothing that he needs.  this is how i must approach every single cash cultist.  the entire infrastructure and every person in a position to determine the disposition of property shares this attitude, this belief.  i don’t know where to start.  it’s going to take me a week to .. stop.  explain.

hi.  my name is tyler mertes.  i grew up in iola, graduated valedictorian in 1995.  i received two grades of A- during high school.  one for a semester of band, where i missed too many away games (i was on the basketball team, i never actually missed a game where i wasn’t playing somewhere else.  i have never argued for a better grade.  ever.) the other was for a particularly difficult semester of chemistry.  i’m pretty sure i had the highest grade in the class, having broken the curve on at least one test.  i’ve always been an outlier.  if you were in my class and you felt inadequate about not knowing a large number of the responses to that test because it was made difficult enough for me to get at least a few wrong, i have exactly zero sympathy for your pathetic helpless drama.  fuck off.

nobody has gone out of their way for me, ever, except to further enslave me in the banking infrastructure, and that’s not really helping a person, now is it?  you don’t know anything.  i know.  socially, plenty of people have allowed you to be present, only to have you harass their friends and family just like your awful family trained you to do.  well, two things to that.  1) law school brought a much greater understanding to many of these interactions, and 2) personal abandonment experience is not the rule i chose, but it’s what i was trained to accept.  of course it makes me bitter.  everyone forgets about me.  my family has entirely forgotten that i think/exist.  i don’t think i’ve ever actually had any friends.  i’ve run across a few humans who benefit from competitive relationships with/near me, as i am an incredibly talented and productive slave.  my father-figure was trained in a catholilc/military “environment” and was then schooled by a variety of abusive individuals and institutions, all of the bank cult.  i’m more proud of how i turned out than anything else, given the life i’ve endured.

let’s talk about victim blaming.  why?  because it’s good, vicious, psychotic fun.  how’s that?  it starts with the basic assumptions about cash.  if someone doesn’t have much, or any, or if they don’t extol the virtues of the bank cult or its agents, the cult requires that they be abused in any and every possible way.  this has many names.  child rearing is one, punishment is another, and “tough love” is a third.  skepticism is another.  the most pathetic of these, “that’s just the way it is” is probably the most insidious and telling, because it highlights the personal uselessness required by the cult.  how could you say or do such awful things to other humans without an inherent disrespect for your own personal meaty self and the original thoughts which you produce.  you’re not allowed any of those, in the cult.  if you do have one, all you need to do is propose it to an existing “business-person” or “lawyer” or economist, teacher.  preachers, cops, etc, etc, etc.

fries are here.  8 pm.  delicious grease.  8:11 pm. gone.

cnn had donny osmond and gloria estefan on the phone, and then read a boring stupid letter by prezident banktard’s research staff.  no, it didn’t even mention personal memories.  it was the same boring tripe that all of the obligatory bank-cultists reveal.  it’s all boring and milquetoast so that nobody really listens to it.  what would be the point?

the sky was a beautiful hue of blue and purple a few minutes ago.  we’re now at that point where the outside is dark enough that the light from inside reflects more back into this room than it allows in from outside.  you could watch anyone in here from a variety of spots.  oh, car culture?  yeah, that’s an integrated extension of this beast.  i don’t know.  do you want to talk about how cars can’t be made efficient, or how they’re made to break down, or how their financing structures further enslave the fucking peons?  we are the peons.  the world is run by 400 people.  the rest of us are their peons.  slaves?  minions.  what word do you want me to use?  how does the choice of word determine the level of respect you have for yourself?  for others?  oh, stop hating yourself for not understanding.  that’s your programming again.  nothing is hate-worthy.  nothing.

how have 400 people maintained control of this entire planet?  no, especially how have they done it by being complete asstard fucksticks?  you’d think somewhere along the line the smart people would see through this moronic ruse and they’d have to stop, right?  yeah, well, you’d be wrong.  not that they haven’t tried.  you try maintaining “sanity” when every person mocks your ideas and says hurtful things about your choices and appearance all the time.  oh, but i only said it about that one person who looked weird.  guess what, you and every other person who saw them did something as awfully insidious, and by doing that, you insulted and suppressed, by proxy, every smaller organism within earshot.  your kids, anybody else’s kids, and all of the “employees” and “females” around.  or, the other “men” who don’t own property or enslave humans themselves.  no, right, capitalism’s alpha is a numeric equation.  it has nothing to do with calm intelligence, as it does in the natural world.  on planet retard slave, the only thing that determines whether you are in charge over another human being is how much cash you have and how physically ruthless you can be.

so, this system you have of “winner-take-all” is a horrible pile of festering shit.  it’s embodied in the legal system most noticably, the electoral systems, and therefore how most of you retarded poison-lovers think about most interactions between people.  remember the “competitive relationshits” from before.  yeah, that’s from a nihilist cunt song.  what of it?  so, when boy and girl meet, they are expected to want certain things of the other party.  if you don’t know of these, a week of watching any daytime television, sitcoms, and any big budget movie will leave you horribly dejected and sure that every human is a back-stabbling, shallow moron who cares only about a bank balance.  what the fuck is wrong with all you people?  i can’t be the only person that can see this shit.  clearly, others see it, but they’re not willing to sacrifice their lives for it the way you have.  what have i sacrificed?  i never had anything in the first place!  no, those were all competitive relationships.  this is me accepting responsibility for that.  i didn’t get it.  no, you’re absolutely right.  call me whatever term you think is appropriate, or let me know what i can do to make up for the pain i’ve caused.  i have a wide variety of skills.  i know a great number of gentle, abused humans trying to scrape by.  most of them aren’t nearly as committed to the capitalist cult, but they’re all members.  every last one of them.  every?  are you sure?  i just muscle tested it.  yes, i am sure.  i have escaped from that cult, according to recent muscle testing.  or, i integrated it.  every dominant political system throughout history has adopted aspects of that which came before it.  i am no different.

they’re still talking about dick clark.  i wonder who he killed to get so famous.  oh, those fucking tv-heads probably don’t have the strength or tenacity to actually pull any triggers themselves, they just witness the criminals at work and then do what they say to cover it up.  most of that is just by following their job descriptions and not pushing when obvious questions present themselves.

can you imagine how amazing a locally open sourced car would be?  yes, yes i can.  i have an infinite number of designs for an infinite number of configurations and an infinite number of fueling/charging infrastructures for them, too.  this is why nobody pays any attention to anything i say.  can you imagine how exhausting it would be to have to hear a steady stream of novel ideas or descriptions of your own horrible death-cult?  i call it a death-cult because it funds death.  it does not fund life.  it enslaves rather than frees, and it lies rather than truths.  it prevents life at every possible choice point, and crushes the will, creativity, and patience of any human which posits a single thought against it.  any rational thought is against it.

it’s 9:15.  i’m not posting this tonight, and i would like to have fast enough internet to surf.  time to go.  thanks for your time/internet, truck stop.

it’s 6:28 pm on Tuesday, and i’m finally re-reading this beast.  editing as if posting.  we shall see.

it’s all love, all is love, love is all that it is,

~ by LazyAssWasteoid on 2012-04-22 (Sunday).

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