fudge, day 2

only five pieces remain when i get to the library.  energy shot.  my teeth are rotting.  dentists cost money and i can’t afford to rent myself a place to live.  what purpose do i serve.  shut up and type, whiny.  yessir.  what’s on your mind today, sir?  probably more buckminster fuller, if we’re lucky.  aren’t we sir, aren’t we?

tweeting also?  we’ll see how the free type section proceeds.  you’re the boss, boss.  don’t call me that.  actually, stop speaking.  thanks.  if the voices in your head know you’re listening, you can ask them to stop, and if you/they are balanced, reasonable voices, they will.  but i have the infinite personality disorder, so who am i to talk. [2?]

i’ve been in a vicious rut for three days straight now.  i’m feelin’ seven’s travels nasty.  harsh and brutal, unnecessarily mean.  re-birdgitated cruelty of the humans it seen.

that’s what’s here, in this sad, smelly little town.  a bunch of pent up anger, cruelty, and violence.  maybe that’s just my mom’s house.  it feels like more than that.  and, there are far more industrial smells in this here hood than even downtowns of major cities.  who knows.  it’s all poisoned now.  the only way i would go live somewhere is if someone else had been there for a while and knew the territory, the local gods

dictator reminds us not to think that we’re going to be here more than a week.  you’re right.  what can we do here and now?  mind races over the landscape, as permaculture basics fit themselves snugly into the rooftops, garages, yards, parks, and fields.

oh, right, everybody else’s dreams have to be done first.  i’ll just sit here and wait.  i’m sure everyone else’s dreams involved the use of every last person on earth to save planet earth.  i’ve told you before, haven’t i?, that i used to see my job, and still do, in a way, as getting everyone laid.  because then i will be with who i am meant to be with, and we will all be at peace, the story went.  you don’t think my way of acting causes sex?  wanna bet?  not with me, of course.  occasionally.  we’re coming up on the 2-year anniversary.  or is it three?  who fucking cares.  it might as well have been all of them, that blissful connection happens so infrequently.  it is a delusional plurality, upon my imaginator.  they say.  rome wasn’t built in a day.  want useful wordy insults?  look up “platitude.”  snarky, we got lots of ways to say awful stuff about other ideas or words, don’t we.

hey, in the interests of transparency, i was invited to the grand opening/fundraiser of the green party’s presidential campaign hq, in madison.  i would go meet her if i had any contacts down there.  who am i kidding.  i have no income.  i can’t afford gas.  i prefer not to spend money on gas either, because if i can’t eat well, i won’t eat.  you wish that was true.  you don’t consider this a starvation diet, that we’re on here?  that the brutal, awful lords have kept us on.  it is our blessing.  some journalists are going to talk.  i know these people.  i’ve shared walks down the middle of the street with some of them, and i’ve stolen attention from their events before.  i so disagree with their industry, their participation with the war/prison industry, but they are considered the delusional, impossible losers, the spoilers.  these are my people, son.  i wish i could be there.  i wish i could build you an off-the-grid conference-center/prarie-school.  all i can do is scream and growl at the nothingness.  apparently.

this page was out in a blink, sir.  imagine how productive you’ll be when you have even a percentage of a sliver of a glimmer of hope.  {grins}  thanks, captain obvious.  i forgot you were here.  lol

hey kids, you know how much fun the fourth of july is?  what if we all had one of those every weekend.  whoever was around.  whoever felt like turning flat, boring, chemical-laden, gas-using grass-covered dirt into a lush forest of healthy fruits, nuts, and vegetables?  it will take a while to grow, obviously.  but the design and construction shouldn’t take all that long.  we’ll need to learn a few basic skills, and we’ll have to do some exploring, but there will be people to help who have done this kind of thing before.

if i were elected [x], the ground-breaking would start the day i was sworn in.  my platform is the design, a set of tools and ways of interacting.  immediate, fully responsive, encouraging, and pleasant.  you know how nice the racist sexist ageist people get, how much they shut up completely when in the presence of actual humans who defy their horribly retarded and cruel assumptions?  that’s how you get when you accept your inner child, all genders/aspects/archetypes within you, and your lot.  your job.  job was a lucky motherfucker compared to me.  he convinced himself of an external god.  that is a feat of dastardly incalculable proportions.  oh fictions, legal or otherwise.  why does your memory torment me so?  love, sweet dear.  all of these systems, bureaucracies, and violent killing-machine institutions have parts that you have worshipped throughout your lifetime, and you still consider the skills they have taught certain humans of this planet are useful to our progress and development.  only if they communicate consciously, thoughtfully, and purposefully.

my dream house right now is the corner of a warehouse, with a dog.  we have electricity, and erv.  nobody talks to us.  we write without hope of upload, for the continuation of our own thought process only.  this is my voice, writhing, screaming in pain.  help.  yes, you can.  see the world for all its gross distorted ugliness.  you must look upon it, because when you do, you will see that it is no different than your own backyard.  all of the natural resources necessary are within walking distance.  everywhere.  there is no rush once we’re headed even in a vector 90 degrees from the ideal.  this hard push for destruction has got to stop.

one piece left and some crumbs after the crunchy square i just put in my mouth.  i didn’t share them with anyone.  oh, right, like they’re going to put an announcement out over the public address system: “the scruffy-bearded homeless-hooker dance-flailing presidential candidate is offering free fudge to pretty little girls up at the front desk.”  wait until i have a movie.  then all will know.  everybody already knows.  you tell them everything, over and fucking over.  now, you’re just brow-beating them.  repetition is an accepted rhetorical device.  oh, that’s right.  you only offer your cash and support for those who offer your rhetoric.  here’s mine:  to not participate in the war machine translates to DOING something different, something living, something productive, with the authority that you DO have.  go.

i have been a tweeting machine today.  here are some of the links:

bucky part 5 @ 33:00, 4:55 pm 😀

i can only go a few minutes without checking favstar.  i don’t know what it is, that site is like crack.  large avi’s of friends and larger than life type.  you’d think they’d display links as well as twitter.  they all have obvious problems.  it’s like complaining about the most obvious little shit is all there is left in the world to speak about.  that’s retarded.  yeah, well, plenty of people would agree with you, if only they heard what you said, or had the opportunity to ask you some questions themselves.  perhaps.  isn’t that why we go to work, log in, and write?  prezactly, sir.  thank you.

7:25 pm, and twitter is down.  this link will be posted from favstar.  funny.  ironical.  perhaps.  i bet it will be back by the time we post.  could be.  library closes soon.  sure enough.  thanks for reading.

love,
t

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~ by LazyAssWasteoid on 2012-03-1 (Thursday).

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