open letter to farmshed

an open letter to the interim director of farmshed. (begun 11/11/11)

i had an idea. for you.

pledge a start.

for a one-time extra cost, sign up to receive an organically grown start from the downtown greenhouse.

infrastructural requirements:

solid price-per-square-foot, installed, of a solid roof and modular, wheeled carts, in which these starts could be grown over the winter. they would have to be watered by volunteers, probably. this would likely make each of the starts like $20, which is a manageable investment for anyone. if someone doesn’t have a garden or wants to learn more, we could hold classes at the library or mall, on anything from garden design to compost to planning. investing in a start is the only requirement of attending these classes. the “sales materials” or whatever could have charts or “sample designs” of small-scale gardens or greenhouses made with the scrap on hand, or available in the near future. tool workshops and trainings could be conducted by marcus or anybody in a number of viable shop areas, and shared designs using local resources could be shared and installed within walking/biking/donated-gas distance.

three square feet could be referred to as a “windowbox” investment, and as many starts as would fit in a windowbox could be another investment scale.  so, you have 3 south-facing windows? you get the idea.

then, out front, there could be a big painted sign, an “artists rendering,” if you will, of the premises.  the angle of the greenhouse could look all dingy in “pre-investment” form, and as money came in, a clear-skied, sun-shining, bird-singing segment could be painted in on the sign so that people could see the progress as they drove downtown. we could build the sign with scrap, get the paint donated, and make everyone who drives past think about it every single day.

i could do training/classes on tools, basic woodworking, computer repair/networking, consensus meetings/decision-making, cooperative trust agreements, solar oven/dehydrator design, and/or construction of raised beds made from the ripple board or brick scraps. as a part of this process, i also donate my workhorse abilities, as a pre-agreed capital investment in a cooperatively owned property, credited hourly. the veggie starts should be that, also, don’t you think?

i could babble forever. i sort of brainstorm for a living. i want to make up for this unscheduled need for capital investment, right as the snowy season begins.

also, i bet an architect in town could design ten legal living spaces into that back building, in which the “business incubator” participators could reside. composting toilets, solar showers. for those paying for the house share with labor hours (me, for example), no cash would need change hands. i could draw down on my credited “investment.” for those requiring a small, cooperative, shared living space, the cash cost would be quite low, but would contribute to solving part of your monthly cash-flow issues, and an investment structure for that other building could be set up in much the same way the veggie starts thing.

if you would like me to pursue any of these ideas, i’m available to do this kind of office/curriculum/training work at an initial exchange rate of $50/hr, credited as capital investment with the option to draw it down for housing, food, or whatever cooperative services are available for a fee. what if i wanted to hire you or marcus for an hour?

anyway, let me know what you think.

thanks for all that you do and have done.


i e-mailed that to the director.  it was a reply to her announcement that black mold had been uncovered (i did that. i had help, but it was unauthorized and unscheduled, and it changes the budgeting calculations.), and it still sounds like me begging for a job, huh.  yeah, it kind of is that.  i have put in now over 40 hours there, with only the understanding that a total of 250 will give me “charter member” or some similar designation status.  they probably will give me 249 and then tell me to go to hell.  that’s what i would do if i were all of you.  sap it for all it’s worth, and then slap it with a restraining order.  haha!  take that, wannabe do-gooder!

i have a good time working with people there.  if the man tells me i can’t show up and carry heavy things any more, i will find another place to work.

human wrecking ball.  aim carefully.  authorize supervision only if you want to uncover the most toxic shit that there is.  SOMEONE HAS TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR THIS AND THAT SOMEBODY IS ME.

i think it’s the die antwoord talking.

i fell for one of my loves’ mothers today, without knowing who she was.  capable woman.

if you don’t put up solar hot water collectors and run that shit under the snow-collection areas on the greenhouse and channel that water into an indoor watering system, i will.

i don’t even remember my myspace password.  it’ll come to me.

yeah, totally.  you sound like a cop.  lawyers are uber-cops.  judges are uber-lawyers.  politicians are lying sacks of crap and shouldn’t do anything except make speeches and look important.  how else are we going to make fun of that?  blah, huffery-puffery, blah.

i, human bean. being.  whatever.  do hereby pledge

i logged into myspace, and all i did was listen to my own musics.  i’m a way better musician than you guys.  seriously.  this took me like, as long as it took to record it, to do.  this is what i’m listening to, right now.  8:09 pm.  3 hours and 2 minutes from the one-ing of one-ness.  i’m talking about 11:11:11 pm on 11/11/11.  we already passed an am, didn’t we.  i was hauling toxic shit out of a greenhouse that i de-installed without proper protection or permission or fear of anything.  then, i left it in a toxic and incredibly heavy pile of whatnot which i spent the day moving to a dumpster about a block away.  i loaded up a 4-wheeled cart and moved as systematically as i do.

heh. next day, 10:52 am. i got a busy-non-response.  i like that better than silence.  she also said, “you are a force.”  for good or evil, she didn’t say.

i gotta restart, but there’s probably more to say on this. i’ll let ya know. 😀

11:22 am.  pledge a start.  i like that.  a start is a baby plant.  it has been incubated during the seed’s development period, and it is raised in a protected environment until it is warm enough to be planted outside.  to get this thing off the ground, it should be a community garden incubator.  not to mention filling that fucking lullaby plot next door with delicious foods until plans for an off-the-grid eco-community are completed.  the municipal electric car conversion will happen there, using alternating current motors from old farm or industrial applications.  hell, power tools.  we teach every mechanic to do it, and everyone can standardize their tools, practices, and safety procedures.

git ‘er doooonnne!

do you realize how many people have DIY carpentry, mechanical, and electrical experience?  these cats could be herded together and allowed to work in open and inclusive spaces

holy crap. these are winter work boots: mining boots.

i have to install a bios battery on a dell latitude d620.  brb. 1:17 pm. ok. done.  1:52 pm.  i didn’t even have to take out all the screws like i did.  pop off the hinge cover and remove three screws in the keyboard, and it flips up and there’s the bios battery.  the one that was in there only needed to be plugged back in.  how does that kind of thing even happen?  i replaced it.  cramming the new one under the little plastic bracket probably took the most time in the entire process.  anyway, it boots.  the system does.  it can’t get past the security software, but that’s another story.  my role in its resurrection is done.  ole.

the d.s.p.f.g.  the downtownstevens pointfood greenhouse.  featuring compost and clean local energy.  i name stuff.  what of it?  must eat, and trim my fingernails. 3:01 pm.

these ones close-by here, these are going to be high maintenance systems.  it’s a learning process.  we’re testing the weathering of a variety of materials.  and, we use things like strips of old vinyl siding to seal up the greenhouse.  or aluminum cans.

if you cut the cans flat, and folded an end over, they could be daisy-chained, then bent as a long sheet to create a spar cover.  if this could be set to spring down against glass, you might not need an adhesive.  an old inner-tube or other gasket could possibly be used.  not to mention, there’s enough plastic waste and need here to look into melting and re-shaping equipment.  if we can fabricate the raw materials, why should we outsource any of it?  we share all the information about the growing pains of the process, and why putting attention to detail in certain areas is critical.  bottlenecks.  ensure switches have sufficient capacity and temperature/pressure requirements.  you’re going to have to run the entire system through a computer modeling first, and that model will form the basis of the management software for the system.  it should have default smart algorighms, sensing more variables than any one person could possibly know.

ok, i gotta type up these lyrics.

Weedeater – god luck and good speed
the original, and my version. ♬ⁿ☠¡♭

recorded 2011-11-12 by LazyAssWasteoid

this is a cover by
original’s here:

only lyrics the internet had were:
“untied we stand
long live dirt weed
mankind is unkind man
god luck and good speed”

i guessed the rest:

i feel your role
and i know your type
it’s all the same to me
and you know i’m right
i’m falling

you see make mao
and i see you smile
five thousand ranger blades
ten thousand miles
of crawling

untied we stand
long live dirt weed
mankind is unkind man
god luck and good speed

i don’t really bring
what’s with myself
ain’t got no time
for no one else i know

i tell myself.
that i’m not like me
one hundred just won’t fit
the murder one can see
my go

untied we stand
long live dirt weed
mankind is unkind man
god luck and good speed

pretty much, existing on the same plane of existence as me means that we are in the same mosh pit.  if i’m flailing around a pit, i better get hit.  it inevitably happens anyway, because i will propel myself into you, as sort of a combination smart bomb/human shield.  thing.  i went all out and downloaded all the weedeater i could find last night.  i probably owe that band like forty bucks now.  so, please go buy some weedeater shit so i can maintain my artistic karma.  technically, it’s not that.  but whatever.  i made them a free commercial.  i’m not a consumer as much as a producer.  the earth is a developing market.

my slaves work independently and unsupervised.  my supervision is all encompassing, so people will immediately learn every aspect that is necessary, immediately.  i am cold, and i have a bit of a sniffle today.  caffeine headache.  maybe i’ll make tea, shower, and bundle up.  or take a nap.  naps are beautiful when you’re sick.  work body.  you don’t need me being all whiny.  let it work in peace, and it will do what it knows it needs to do.  if you’re as full as the toxins that i am, it’s gonna need help cleaning that out.  shower, and eat fiber.  seeds, nuts, fruits.  no salt, no sugar, no oils, and lots of water.  hot water even, in lieu of tea, i have heard will work.  the heated liquid still dissolves nasties that clog up your many membranes and filters.  think good thoughts about your kidneys, liver, and blood.  imagine them delivering toxins to excrete from your pores, and out in your urine and feces.  a lot of water is essential for these processes.

in about 8.5 minutes, i will have the protector under limited education-only, natural law license.  i mean unlimited unfettered open source sharewarez.  that’s a part of god luck and good speed.  a hacked laptop in every kitchen and a free texting phone on each and every human over the age of 6.  the acreage and helper animal are variable requirements, but we can work with what we can get.  hey, irl doesn’t have as much sex as i need.  anywhere.  so, i get my sex from the internet.  i take what’s free, which means i have to use my imagination probably more than those with money.  that’s ok, though.

if i’m surrounded by people who aren’t making physical contact with me, i’m probably going to get anxious or upset, or start talking a lot, about any range of bullshit which i can spout until long after the cows come home.  i dunno.  being alone isn’t such a big deal by yourself.  when you’re surrounded by people you would much rather be naked next to, underneath, or on top/inside of, being alone starts to hurt.

so i hear.  it’s noon oh three on monday the 14th.  the noon lunch air raid siren mashed perfectly with this song today.  fortuitous, or intelligent design.  you decide. the beginning of that playlist is better than the ending.  so far.  i don’t know.  i love everything.  i do rather mindfully.  moreoso.  hmm.

‘cuz well i believe them all.

subscribed, friended, for a song and a name. LurkingCrassZero.  haha.

i keep watching this.  i haven’t liked one of my song videos as much as this in a while.  crazy in love, i think they call that.  with non-specifics.  an ever-evolving cloud.  i considered doing a more complete mix of this, making it overlayable/mashable/compatible with the original.  yes, like a duet.  collaboration.  LAWeedeaterz.  yes, i give names to projects that ain’t happened yet.  so, doesn’t mean they ain’t gonna.  one i was in is called slutz.  weedsloth. i’m not sure if the concept had me in it, but holy batt-knuggets, that project has promise.  LazyAssWasteoid is only a term.  it’s an extra long user-name, not likely search-steal-able.  look, the man got skyscaper already.  it doesn’t take too long.  you have to include “permaculture” AND scroll down to click on the “yes, i meant what i typed, google” link.  with LazyAssWasteoid, boom.  8 of the top ten are me.  for-profit organizations are prohibited from using the business name, and i am the only associate/owner/contractor so far.  it’s a brain trust.  a labor trust.  a food trust.  a data trust.  an entertainment trust.

as of now, we’ve mapped out most of our intended conquerable territory, and await invitation from the relevant pillars, and prepare our welcoming surroundings for the long, cold winter.  i cannot leave this area.  i cannot distance myself from any of these people.  so, i must get closer to them until we can communicate, to the point of understanding and mutual love, and then i may go do some traveling.  this is the home i came here to build, and i intend to see the project through to its completion.  or, you can help me get tooled up and on the road now, and i can respond to any questions via e-mail or web video.

loving heaps of love,

~ by LazyAssWasteoid on 2011-11-14 (Monday).

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