i always let my friends draw blood

i always let my friends draw blood.  the new ones, anyway.  so, apparently i am not very good at this dog ownership thing.  i am childish and impatient and i took some not-so-great advice.  i also hurt myself, and possibly my dog.  he seems ok.  i am hurting.  here’s how it went down.

i had found a choker chain here before getting him, but i bought him a harness.  he doesn’t like the harness being grabbed from the back strap, even.  he bit me when i did that at the adoption place.  it was gentle, and he didn’t break the skin, but teeth were used.  he’s an agile fighter, and it was all i could do to get the leash back on him.  he really really didn’t want me to attach that leash to the choker again, but i couldn’t reach the harness.  he was wearing both.  i’m crazy, don’t ask.  i’ve said i think chokers are mean before, but he’s a big dog, and a tugger, so i was hoping to break him of that.  anyway, the walks we’ve been on so far, i used that, and he kept tugging.

he was very gentle on these walks, but probably because he was oxygen deprived.  poor thing.  i feel so terrible.  i’ve cried once and now i’m crying again.  i’m sorry, dude.

so continues my tradition of doing the dumbest possible thing i can think of to see what happens.  he’s faster than me, and in a panic, i tackled him as he was trying to take a shit.  horrible.  pathetic.  i’m the one who should be put down.

i had a hell of a time getting that leash back on him.  he broke the skin in over ten places, on both hands, to keep me away from that choker.  or from being tethered again.  at a certain point, what exactly is the difference between pain and enslavement.  well, pain will make you bite your friends.  enslavement is more of a dull ache that you don’t even notice until you get a taste of freedom.

oh i didn’t even tell you the best part (i.e. my biggest mistake).  when i let him off the leash, i threw the shiny new dog Frisbee for him.  how insulting.  he grabbed it, ran perpendicular from my path, then dropped it and bolted.  if i chased, he ran.  if i yelled, he ran faster.  he knew i was scared and he was mocking me.  he wasn’t going towards the road any more, he was going towards the house, but through the adjacent properties.  i witnessed the following emotions go through me while pursuing him: annoyance, mild anger, confusion, and then when he got closer to the road, panic.  i tackled him like a protective mother, not thinking that he could hurt me as bad as he did from where he was.  i could have grabbed the harness, but he can bite my hands from there, too.  gloves.  i’d still be able to type had i taken the time to grab the gloves.

we’ve known each other for a day, and i’m forcing him to defend himself against an inexperienced oaf who thinks he can will his dreams into existence without time and effort.  dude, it’s a day.  give yourself a break.  don’t kill my dog.

more sobbing.  going to cuddle with the tough little guy who has tasted my blood.

1:23 PM.  This incident happened around 10:30 am, i want to say.  the bleeding has stopped, but the pain is.  he’s still snuggly.

i should get some food.  yes, that.

the woman at the dog shelter has been helpful, and i have learned a ton.  i think we are going to try again, with less stress.

i’ll let you know how it goes. 1:47 pm.

2:58. i cleaned off the deepest puncture again.  that whole episode is a blur.  i thought i was faster.  nope.  i could hold him down, but dude has a huge maw, like a flip-top head with teeth.  big sharp teeth attached to a very muscular jaw.  god, he’s beautiful.

so, after our little lovers quarrel, he got bored and left the room when i cried and told him how much he’d hurt me.  he’s been kissing my hands a lot, too.  he notices that i wince when i open his treat bag.  i wonder if he makes the connection.

patience is going to be the name of the game with this one.  there will be no swift and firm rules laid down with such a strong-headed lad.  i like that about him.  i like pretty much everything about him.  he’s my fucking soulmate and i knew that from shortly after i met him.

so, this, he’s starting to understand.  i don’t want to be verbally correcting him every time he tugs.  our walks would be constant yelling.  i don’t have that in me.  so, here’s what i did.  i have a long leash, and i let him go about 10 feet.  for the first part of the walk, i would hold firm as he tugged or stop if it got to be too much. or, i would continue walking if he stopped.  he does both.  much like me, tugs forward constantly, and stops at every single obstacle to sniff and mark.  my boy.  now, i let him roam as he eases up, but if he tugs, i shorten the leash to my opposite hand, keeping him within heel distance.  i’m not jerking him, at least not any more than he is jerking me, but i think he was beginning to understand.  getting this process in place will allow us to understand each other better.  it’s give and take.

squirrels, he doesn’t like.  he wanted to take off after a few squirrels.  we walked a few feet from a cat that didn’t move, and he barely cared, or noticed.  then, another little cat across the street (i think) made him bark once, briefly and not all that loud.  i tell him no, and he stops immediately.

his bark is fucking awesome.  loud, sharp, and scary as fuck.  hey, this is my dog.  on this most recent walk, we walked over the spot where my most memorable nightmare took place, where my arm was bitten off by a freakishly large snapping turtle.

in one of my dreams last night, i was attempting to fix a cassette tape.  the song was playing in my head.  some 90’s pop song i don’t have on tape.  it didn’t look bad on one side, but when i flipped it over, the tape was a tangled mess.  earlier today, when i tackled my best friend in desperation, the long black nylon strap of a leash was what ultimately shielded me from his teeth long enough to get the leash re-attached.  we both popped up at that moment and kept walking as if nothing had happened.  as if the two of us hadn’t just unleashed each others demons on the other.  this is how you get to know friends.  by putting ten or so punctures into the hands that feed you. three have band aids, and my right hand pretty much aches all over.  good lesson.

he was very good in the car.  he wouldn’t sit, until it was dark and he was very tired, then he spun a few times and layed down.  when we got home, he wouldn’t eat any of his food.  i saw him take a bite when i put him in the kennel for a half hour or so, but he’s only been eating treats.  he does drink water.

he’s been crashed out since this last walk.  we went all over town.  not that it’s a big town, but tugging on each other is tiring.  i suspect it will take two or three good long walks a day to keep him occupied.  yeah, wrestling is good exercise, too, but i’m going to have to wear gloves next time, and we’re going to talk about his biting.  seriously, talk.  he listens quite well.  he doesn’t necessarily respond to commands, but that’s what the leash is for.  i can stop him in his tracks or lift him off the ground if necessary.

he’s such a beautiful dog.  his eyes, inside of his ears, and the tip of his snout are black, and the inside of his mouth is a blue-black marbling, and when he yawns, his tongue turns to his left right past his front teeth.  it’s so adorable.  the rest of him is dark brown around the black areas that fades to a light brown and an off-white undercoat.  he keeps his sharpeitail pointed up, and often wagging.

i keep calling him he, though being fixed, i am more male than he is.  he’s still more male than me in just about every other way, though.  he’s a much better fighter, too.  i wasn’t trying to fight him, i was trying to re-attach the leash and defend myself.  he was defending himself, too.  he put up a good fight, and i clearly needed to get my ass kicked.

such are the adventures of LazyAssWasteoid.

my boyfriend is way prettier than yours. :p
t

p.s. i’m going back through this to add details and thoughts that are coming to mind throughout the day.  i’m not so much rattled any more, but i am in pain.  there may not be a difference.  i don’t know.

Anakin, you are the coolest dog i have ever met.  thanks for being my friend. thanks for injecting me with the wisdom of chinese dog breeders.  amen.

i mentioned on twitter, but not here. dude is

fawn sharpei http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shar_Pei and

yellow lab. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Labrador_Retriever

http://wp.me/py8vw-fq

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~ by LazyAssWasteoid on 2011-10-18 (Tuesday).

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