neverending story

breakfast of industrial slaves.  fascist father.  pathetic role model.  bullies, a triad of them.

asshole old man, whiny kid.  suddenly man eases up and treats him human because he reads.  old people.  they’re so disrespectful to children.  you’d think they’d know better, having been one and all.

kid steals this book, what’s going through his head.  i’m fucked anyway, being late, whispers “math test. oh no!”  lol. i love that line.  this fucking attic is the most badass place ever, too.  i want to live there.  it’s like the science teacher/mad scientist’s graveyard.

“no worries, it’s a racing snail”

dude, he can fly in his sleep.  just let him sleep.

i love how the name is so epic.  both names.  all names.  the giving of names is the god function, according to judeo-christian mythology, isn’t it?

dude, you laughed in my face.  i’ve killed people for less.

you’re the only person who can do anything, and if you fail, the princess dies and everyone else, too.  no pressure, kid.

the kid is a self-satisfied little prick version of his prick dad.  super.

i fucking love this movie.

that wolf-dog thing is terrifying.  gmork.  artax is his horse.  or artex.

“no, it’s a great idea.” lol.  that kid was my almost hero as a kid.  i super-loved this movie, but i still thought he was kind of a tool, even then.

“everyone knew that whoever let the sadness overtake him would sink into the swamp.”  everyone.  i hate this part.  it’s awful.  i had to skip artax’s death.  i don’t feel like crying just yet.  maybe later.

“we don’t even care, whether or not we care.” heh.

luckdragon ftw.

falcor.  that’s animatronic, isn’t it?  that’s impressive.  it’s a huge flying dragon dog.

“never give up, and good luck will find you.”

“it has to hurt if it’s to heal.”

before he goes through the pair of huge-tittied lazer-eyed sphinxes, he grabs the medallion and thinks to himself there’s a princess that i have to give this back to.

if this were a video game, he’d snag that chain mail and armor.

he chucks the book overhand.  what does that mean, “this is going too far.”?  “what if they really do know about me in fantasia?”  heh.

by this point, i was like, “kid, you’re stupid if you don’t know this is you by now.”

and then atreyu falls into the nothing!  this movie is traumatic!  dual story, like princess bride.  oh shit, i lost the princess’s medallion!  the nothing is fucking cool.  stormy.

hey, we’re all failures.

it’s pretty badass to tell the huge wolf-dog who just told you you’re the person he’s sent to kill that he should attack.  it’s also convenient to have a nice knife-shaped rock nearby.

there’s that word again.  i do not think it means what you think it means.  fucking believe it, kid!  it’s only a story, as he screams for the characters in it.  little bastard made the princess cry.  that shit’s unforgivable.  way too late, you fucking dickhead.

i couldn’t even understand you, jackass.

i can’t believe the little retard gets to meet the princess.  well, you took forever to give me a name, dumbass.  and, another kiddie ass shot.  atreyu was way cooler.  and then, he uses his magical powers to be a dick, just like his dad would have done.  that dome, is thatMinneapolis?then there’s a needle-looking building.  even the luck dragon thinks throwing bullies in the dumpster is hilarious.  i hope they found some cool stuff, or some good eats, at least.

i can’t believe that movie reeled me in as a kid.  tami stronach was the princess.  i’m gonna see where it was filmed.  studios inmunich.  listen to the audio with a choppy computer or in slow motion if you ever think a movie is cool.  it will entirely break you of any suspension of disbelief, and it will all look cheesy and stupid.  they all do.  yes, all movies.  this song is pretty badass at 0.33x, though.  ee ee eeh.  worbly.  oh, whatever.  you know it’s a good movie when they name a book in the movie that, and the name of the main, like theme song is that, too.  i can’t even rip on this movie effectively.  i’m about the most useless person i’ve ever met.

i don’t know why.  i wanted something to do.  it was like a blister, and i forgot that there was a huge hole underneath.  1984.

now watching serenity.  there aren’t many movies in my collection that don’t contain horrid shit that i can’t take right now.  even this one.  somehow, it’s more wholesome.  shut up.  did i ever claim to be not insane?  i kinda did, huh.  well, i’m not a doctor.  i need more food before we start this.

next attempt: four brothers.  terrence howard sucks.  he’s a cop in this movie.  serves him right.  “first class fuck-up, third class rock star” marky mark tells the cops to go to hell.  very little about this movie impresses me.

so, that one crashed.  i’m having bad luck with my old burned movie collection on my shitty old laptop.  loser is a very appropriate word for me.  very.  doesn’t mean i have to like it.

trying out “stigmata.”  so far, so good.  nope. i ended up watching a few episodes of the venture brothers.

he doesn’t buy it, that i have made friends online.  what he doesn’t know is that i have no idea who these people are, and that they could very well be something other than what they present themselves online.  i have no way of knowing.  that doesn’t make them any less the best friends i’ve ever had.  unconditional love is unconditional.  any conditions are conditions.  i think it was a good talk, and i apologize for so infrequently providing you with these sessions where i reflect your evilness back at you.  you really should encounter your nastiest self more regularly so you know what it’s like for everyone else that is required to deal with you.  no, you deal with the ones who regularly attack.  i understand your reasons for doing so, developing that mindset makes perfect sense.

whatever.  shoulda woulda coulda.  this is what we have to work with now.  this is the really real world and what we thought we wanted so long ago still isn’t the case.  who gives a fuck.  we have all the resources right here.  each of us have to stop hoarding the skills, materials, and rights, not to mention the airspace.  both physically and with noise, you may prevent someone from being able to access a space.

i have worked with one spiral staircase in my life, and i don’t even know if i installed it.  it had a post through the center, which each of the steps attached to.  the post supported the weight of the staircase entirely.  it was for a play.  i was “technical director” but i wasn’t really.  i only built the set.  they knew i didn’t have the patience to go through tech week.  or, they didn’t want me around for tech week.  i have no idea.  nobody tells you anything when they’re scared of you, and apparently, everyone on planet fucking earth is scared of me, which requires them to give me the silent treatment.  i don’t know what they think i will do, other than make noise back at them when they invariably insult me or my friends, but they don’t give me the opportunity anymore.  or, they never did.  that’s fucking lying, as far as i can tell.  i don’t know.  i don’t own a lie detector, and from where i am right now, i’ve never had any friends irl.  i don’t know if i sounded like a horrible person first to see if people would believe me and start treating me that way, or if people just started treating me that way, so how the fuck else am i going to respond?  this is the rawest i can get.  this is as much “harm” as i am capable of inflicting on other people.  words.  and only here.  so, full disclosure to interested parties.

i woke up just after five pm, on the last weekday, two days late.  dude, if you’re gonna be petty about deadlines and shit, i don’t even want your fucking money or exposure, or whatever the fuck else it is you have.  you know what i have, and you know how to get in touch with me.  i’m starving to death over here.  i am a shattered soul, and i don’t feel it’s my place to ask for anything.  i’ve already given everything.  so, ask if you want more.  if not, i’ll assume you don’t.  i’m not a fukcing whipping boy service, even though that’s what you use my corpse for.  corporeal form, whatever.  i suppose there’s technically a bit of life left in it.  i’ll try to call you tomorrow.  can’t make any promises.

i find it humorous when capitalist fascists tell me they’re scared of me.  i have zero resources, other than a klout score, i mean a twitter followers list, i mean a beautiful cock, i mean excellent taste.  umm… what were we talking about?  oh, right.  why the use of logic and the banishment for inappropriate and abusive use of language and resources is terrifying for some people.  right?  they know they’d be banished.  they know they are banished, by the zero information that they receive.  no, plenty share.

so, when she said, “i don’t know what we would have done without your help,” and i responded, “you probably would have died,” i hope that what she understood it to mean was, “you are wonderful, beautiful, and kind people, and i am sure that the fates would never leave you wanting for assistance in something so important.”  strangers aren’t really that strange.  omfg.  strangers are made out of people!  it’s people!

analysis of humor makes me giggle.  stop giving away my formulaics, yo!  i know.  we put lots of commentary in our code, don’t we.

if i were a sober person, meaning i was getting laid regularly by 1-∞ people, had a good mix of theoretical, experimental, and hard physical labor with a team of like-minded human beings who only ever loved one another, and was constantly surrounded by animals and children of all shapes and sizes, serving as a pass-through, a translator.  in addition to the physical work that i do, i could be speaking nearly constantly about other topics, namely, how to reconcile your hate-filled education with the fact that you want your head not to get ripped off by me for insulting those around you.  verbally.  tell me what you think you want to say.  if you like, i can explain its flaws, but i would rather just rephrase what you actually want to say without all of the judgmental shit you’re so full of imprinted on it.  most of it’s in the delivery now.  your words have improved immensely.  listen to the four agreements again.  i will, too.  the disassembly of this stuff is essential.

we give momentary chances for interaction.  take it.  you know, i know you know.  you have ears, and you have eyes, and you have photon receptors throughout your aura and within your third eye that know when you’ve been gazed upon.  this is the only time i’m available.  otherwise, i’m occupied with volumes of thoughts and human interaction that would make your head explode.  who cares.  don’t pretend you don’t know how the world works, because you do now.  ok, in one sense there’s something to be angry about.  in another, there isn’t.  why doesn’t that remind you of happy things.  it could.

part of me wishes there were a way i could physically express my love, but another part of me knows love without time, and whatever thoughtforms projected upon the aether… matter.  if we’re lucky, we’ll get to duplicate our inhuman humanity.  a super-demon, as proof.  imagine the army.  imagine the love.

dude, someone needs to do a story about odd twitter accounts.  this is one example.  1 follower.  following 1.  82 tweets!  i found one, one time, that was protected, and had zero followers.  you could still talk to people you followed, if you wanted to, but nobody else could see it.  nobody.  part of me doesn’t understand how someone would a) be that terrified or b)

read this again.  it’s chapter 2 from Carlos Castenada’s “The Fire From Within” and it is helpful.

i/we/it hereby modifies the requirement of “attribution” here.  we use this license because it prohibits for-profit use of our work.  we are removing the first condition, that of attribution.  you may claim our work as yours.  i don’t give a fuck any more.  if you do this and make money off of it and don’t give me half, don’t be surprised when i sue.  that’s what the non-commercial means.  “commercial purposes” means any institution or individual which i would not allow my cooperative to participate with.  in other words, human participants must be provided with a living wage (~$10/hr), disposition of funds is to be determined by relatively atemporal consensus.  it’s a rucking thing now, dick head.  we can let the computer do the designs, based solely on a database of catchment systems, local plants and animals, and your own consumptive tendencies.  jesus fuck, you retarded old man.  if you want a store of frozen food, put me to work.  i work faster in the kitchen than in any room.  your fascism keeps me out of there.  fuck.  bread goes faster.  we don’t have anything to look forward to, long-term.  we don’t have anything short-term either.  really?  not even food and weed?  beer!?!  bang interrobang.  period.  hmm.

i don’t get how your removal of the attribution requirement doesn’t make it completely public domain.  because it still requires sharing, and it still prohibits “commercial purposes.”  prohibits?  hey, if you’re making a buck off of ideas you got from me, you better be sharing a percentage.  all of this stuff is modifiable by contract.  that’s how it works.  give me a proposal.  if you have actually made dollars using my ideas, i will be so freaking impressed, probably, that any percentage of compensation will probably be reasonable.  and, these things decay.  a producer of ideas cannot expect a fixed percentage.  i think it should decay by volume.  if you make a million dollars off of ideas that you got entirely from me, i should get half.  i don’t think that’s unreasonable at all.  if you’ve lost the ability to dig into sources and have relied exclusively on one source, then yeah, a large percentage makes sense.  also, i don’t do anything else.  i have a difficult time feeding myself within this fascist architecture you call earth.  once that changes, my requirements will ease significantly.  y’all are the ones playing hardball, here.  i’m still in self-defense mode.

people who do science and put videos up on youtube without quick backgrounds on their topics seem to me, scared.  i want each person who encounters my work to understand it fully at the cutting edge.  this is the most i know, and all of the background that is behind it.  if i am missing something massive, point that out to me, please.

“it takes a victim to make a victim,” and you should listen to the context. is about bedbugs.  i’m smitten.

i can’t afford to keep up with pop culture.  i don’t want to keep up with pop culture.  i am pop culture.

i found when i googled “my little fish” from the dead milkmen song “i walk the thinnest line”.  hmm.  timeless genius music has lots of knowledge in it that the world would like to see buried.

it’s nearly 1 am.  i have not gleaned any direction about my life that was not apparent before.  how do i get people to look at the “dark matter” that is so very real in my life?  do they need to look at it?  no, they sense it anyway.  i can’t do anything to make people not afraid, can i?  well, be gentle, that’s about it.

ya hear that kids?  that’s about it.

be well, one and all.

~ by LazyAssWasteoid on 2011-09-3 (Saturday).

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