while sitting in ye olde rv, post mood-balancing act, me brain thunk up another short film.  it’s frightfully offensive and fit for all human consumption (for that reason).

it’s shot with my camera, no edit, 1-take.

12: “oh, hey internet. can i get a witness?”
34: “what’s that?”
12: “quiet you, i’m getting us married so i can ride your gigantic legally.”
34: “don’t you need, like, my parents’ permission? or yours?”
12: “i have a doctor’s excuse.  have another beer.”
34: *shrugs, cracks beer*
12: “ok, the vows: i [bleep] being of sound mind and body do hereby take this worthless piece of shit in holy matrimony as long as it takes me to cum, and then i annul his pathetic ass.”
34: “uhh? rude!”
12: hard, immediate, violent slap.
34: *big smile* “I do.”
12: “now take another of those red jello shots and get back to lickin’ my pussy.”
34: “this ad was paid for by LazyAssWasteoid for president.”
12: “ain’t nobody had nothing to do with this shit but the LAW”

that is by far my finest work.  i told you our movile hoem is culled teh LazxyArsedWastermatoid kitteh pron meh-chine, right?  it’s a work in progress.

it’s a statement.  and, i’ve had this idea to write my 9-year old buddy into a good, fitting role.  oh, please.  she won’t be fully naked in it.  no, we’ve only held hands.  and only once.  parents, translations being lost, and societal paranoia.  dude, how is putting a kid of any age in a movie in any way legitimate?  oh, i dunno, if they choose to do it.

maybe that was supposed to be a hundred and twelve.  oh, blame it on the repeating integers.  the what?  the root squares.  if i was actually horny, i’d be married by now.  if i wanted to hang out with kids, i’d be a soccer coach.  will you leave my family alone already?  kids, shut off the corporate government paranoia training and speak to these adults on how to interact with human beings.  they’ll benefit from your understanding, and their introductions will transcend any petty categories their crusty old gutter brains could possibly imagine.  i don’t have any friends because i refuse to be the kind of friend the fascist social programming puts out.  if you are incapable of seeing and/or hearing me, i will grow increasingly louder until you assist us in saving our planet, fixing our physical bodies, and putting our once-envied “way of life” in its proper place with other forms of illegal confinement, isolation techniques, and global eugenics programmes.  utopia is a matter of seed saving and windmills, kids.  free your mind, and the electromagnetic spectrum will follow.

mas lub.

p.s. time and temperature, accurately & precisely measured, will lead you to the nutrition of kings

p.p.s: ♥ she was stressed with boy problems at the time, and telling me that by repeatedly climbing up my arm. i am fairly certain i helped. or, she did. i never know what else to do. yet somehow, i am still here.♥

my self opinion is untainted. i’m one of a tiny few hero-worshippable human beings i’ve encountered, the hardest working and most capable person i’ve ever met, and a student of minority reports. love all you want. we’ll make more.



~ by LazyAssWasteoid on 2011-08-5 (Friday).

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