;p tyler tavy reporting 4 dooty!

Sir! Yes, ma’am!

Saw recently: church sign, said “a place belong.  A place to become.”  Dirty, huh?

Our head is so above water.  We can tread indefinitely.  You haven’t been paying attention, have you.

It’s tweeting on WordPress, on a Saturday?  That’s either cheating, or lying, or nonsensical.  Who does his marketing?

Notes for today’s shitstorm:

I’m a fan of:

  • Arm twisting
  • Debt enslavement
  • Sink or swim
  • Pity killings
  • One-night stands
  • Pussy
  • Objects – respect them

It’s all a big joke.  You’re all in quicksand.  Quit flopping around.

This offer, this berating, isn’t just for you.  It’s for me/all of us.  Ma$DeeTocks

A poem, written Wed, 9/15/10, at 9:31 pm, at flo.

Polyamorous Love

Tonite, obtained freely and legally

Coffee, ice cream, digits, smiles.

I’m not a player, I just crush a lot.

I’m more than a little psychic, too.

They’re all sisters, Willie.  True.

Know this, be respectful to all,

And the real friends shall emerge.

So much beauty.  So little slime.

To touch like a lover without the will to be one, is lying.

Brutal, eh?  Should that be the end of the poem, or a new tweet?  WFC!

No, WHO FUCKING CARES, not my former banky employer.  Eww.  Not uWolf.  Whatever.

I write inside jokes to people who won’t speak to me anymore.  Oh, they have various, completely legitimate and reasonable reasons for avoiding my everything.
158 – FAIL

I should really follow my own agenda, huh.  FukU!

Merch Sale

Oh, it’s on.  Grab a shirt that will show sharpie.  Take a sharpie.  Write something dirty on the shirt.  Send me $5.  I mean, unless it was a $500 shirt.  Writing LazyAssWasteoid across the back of some hoity-toidy thread-counted collared dress shirt (or write it on the collar.  Nice.), yeah that costs $500.  Send me pics.  I’ll post em.  What the fuck else do I post?  Recordings of me farting?  You wish.

Butt seriously, you people don’t respect objects.  Like women, you think they are of less worth, in some weird, not-being-able-to-recognize-real-worth-from “expert’s” ratings, rankings, or scores.  It’s no wonder you think those are disposable.  You settle for being lied to up-front, and what the fuck do you think you’re going to get?  You abuse.  Constantly.  Verbally, physically, emotionally, and auto-erotically.  Do you seriously enjoy the lack of oxygen with your head down there in the sand, or so far up your ass?

We do custom fashions, too.  We’ll be your fashion/shopping/thrift/scrap consultant, then help you design and build clothes that are comfortable.  Clothes that are you.  Easy.
175 – FAIL (w/potential)

R&D Reporting

No, we haven’t started on the 3D phase of any of this stuff yet.  Well, we’ve collected some scrap for the lab, but we don’t have space or a workforce yet.  Clearly.
165 – FAIL

Designs for the solar ovens are all but complete, and we just e-popped a human-powered pickup replacement at brainstorming this morning.  A low, adjustable suspension, dual-pedal powered cart that can be started by standing/pushing/running by one, either, or both.  Yeah, I suppose you could do a passenger one, too.  Regenerative spring-braking, too.  Of course.  Yeah, I know you like the electronic sensors and shit, but we don’t have the coders on board yet, either.  Not my department.  Yeah.  Of course.  Yes, the LED semi-decoy is still in the works.  Ok.  3D now.  Suspended from power-poles.  Cable guns, check.  An overturned Semi-trailer now?  Oh, with lightweight tent fabric stretched.  You could stop traffic for days.  Right.  Yessir.  I’m.  K.

Sales & Marketing

Our reach just, fucking, exploded.  We’ve had the typical un-follows, but I’m not sure of any de-friendings.  Some ignores.  Expected, and frankly, not our problem.  Yeah, we have a severely limited budget and constraints no slave should shoulder.  The conditions here are unbearable.  When the fuck are we gonna meet the horny girls?

Sweetheart, if you can’t talk to me sober, we got nowhere to go.  If you don’t want to touch me while we’re both sober, just stay away.

Philosoph(y/ers) Stone(d)

What the fuck is a weekend?  Weekends are for friends, friendships, family, drinking, sports, television, and not working.  I know not none of these things.  Prezactly. Not.

I don’t see why anyone would ever need more than 64 characters.

Re: http://www.sexcigarsbooze.com/2010/10/the-difference-between-marketing-pr-advertising-branding/ so, I guess I am junk mail.



you people are boring as shit if you really trend like twitter says you do.  Fuck.  That.

You listen to experts on how to do everything.  It’s so pathetic.  You don’t feel anything.  You must be completely numb.  It’s no wonder I never see YOU cry.
158 – FAIL

Do you sthink listening to dating/relationship experts will do any better for you than watching TV has done for your eating habits?

From: http://www.alternet.org/sex/148291/why_do_we_demonize_men_who_are_honest_about_their_sexual_needs/?page=entire “But in fact, men aren’t merely enabled to be promiscuous — they’re pressured to be getting laid all the time.”

Ok, is this shit supposed to be funny?  It’s not.

Isn’t prostitution still illegal, “reviled,” and mocked constantly?  Isn’t a little legitimacy as the oldest profession about in order here?  This is akin to yelling at a slave for communicating with his master in public, as a human being, as he occasionally gets to in private.  Fuck your entire moralistic condescending keep-that-shit-under-wraps lie-fest.  We are here, you shit-stain, moralizing, dirty fucking liars.  We are honest about our role as human beings and demand only to be treated as human beings.  The rest of you are holier-than-thou fuck stains.  May you die long painful deaths of inexplicably contracted STDs.

The goddess of the night has spoken.

Back on the alternet piece.

“However, I’m reluctant to condemn any kind of consensual sex in itself, including consensual sex as represented in mainstream porn.”

The porn I like is gentle, coos, moans, yeahs, and lots of uuuuhhhhhhhhhhhh.  Uh.

I have no idea what “mainstream” porn is, but most porn I’ve seen is a violent, domineering representation of what should be a shared, consensual, mutually beneficial act.  It’s no wonder you’re all terrified of sex, thinking it’s that.
236 – split it?

I kinda like this Wonderella strip.  She’s cute.

I bit-ly’d my paypal link.  Try it out!

I better go bike whilest there’s some sunshines!

The “derivative formats” on Archive.org are fixed now.  You still have to use linkification for the links there, too.  Make sure you shut it off for your WordPress blog, tho.  Messes.  Just what I’ve learned.



~ by LazyAssWasteoid on 2010-10-2 (Saturday).

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