prop’a wayz 2tip

The best “way” is to put something into my hand.  Gas cards, cash, food, beers, whatever.  Don’t go grabbing my hand an putting it on your ass.  At least not while other people are around.

Amount to tip:  the starting point is a percentage of the savings you’ve amassed by using one or more of my ideas.  I’m an idea person, but I don’t want to tie ideas up in any sort of proprietary bullshit.  No, they’re all free.  Immediate.  I’m here, right now, for consultation, clarification, whatever.  I designed it so that’s not necessary.  I added all of the relevant, necessary, and important features up-front.  You can put it in your own little spreadsheet and figure out how much I’m saving you.

If you adopt political ideas from me, yet refuse to contribute to my campaign, fuck off, leech.  If you respect the intensely driven labor ethic which makes you want to “hire” me, but you continue to treat me like a slave, to your own detriment, fuck off, leech.  If you watch and laugh at my videos, music, dancing, or “album reviews” and do not contribute a relevant percentage of your income, fuck off, leech.  Yes, a percentage of YOUR income.  I am a coop.  If you are not interested in this model of living reality, FUCK.  OFF.  LEECH.  Am I being clear?

I don’t like the way 95% of you interact with each other.  You’re mean.  You’re loud, brash, and you waste everybody’s time by monopolizing the available precious silent moments with your incessant fucking babble.  I know.  I do it, too.  The proper response, in my case, is physical contact.  I go silent, immediately.  Poof.

I have requests.  There are pictures of me, out there floating amongst the aether.  Pictures of me in boas, pink, and other delightfully festive “dress-up” clothes.  Prolly there are pictures of me being gang raped while drunk/drugged, too, but that shit, we gotta see on video.  That’s the shit people will pay you for.

Yes, I trust you as far as I can throw you, and the only reason I’m getting close enough to any of you now, to try to show you another way, is that I’m sure I could easily kill any one of you if the necessity arose.  I’m that much faster.

Bring out ‘cha ninjas!

Dear Mayors and Council-Folk of Small-Town-To-Mid-City-America

You’re going about this in the old way.  Making “incentives” for corporate leeches to come into your town?  Only a few of you are going to benefit from that shit, and not even that much.  I mean, if you’re yourself a real murderous kiddy-fucking psychopath drunk, you’ll march right up through the ranks, but if you have a semblance of decency, they’re gonna railroad you just like every other human what tried to get a fair slice for its own land.  The bank owns all of your shit, too, son.

So go this direction instead:  take account of the human resources and land resources within your jurisdiction over which you DO have control.  You have unemployed people there, dontcha.  You have people living thicker than you’re comfortable with, and they’re getting restless with nothing to do.  You’re going to have to figure out what it is that they want, and trying to convince “big business” and “outside money” to come enslave them is sure as fuck NOT THE ANSWER.  Give them places to grow food.  Open up areas of parks and trails, municipal road-sides even, for gardening.  Let them build sustainable, or seasonal, or low-impact, or communal housing on hillsides, in old wal-marts and empty warehouses, and on the rooftops of old factories.  Let’s celebrate the “civilization” that got us to this point as a planet by putting its remnants to actual use.  I’m talking about the buildings, the people, the churches.  Oh, the churches.  You know how many people one church could support?  Huge group kitchens, central locations, big ol’ fields of grass just begging to be de-poisoned, de-gassified (the mowing.  STOP MOWING!!!), and turned into wildlife and human-support land.  Over-plant.  If we have food left over, there will be more for the animals.  If there’s lots left, we can share with our neighbors.  This thing will spread like wildfire.  It already is.  If only you could see it from here.

As far as my participation, I don’t give a fuck.  Honestly.  I can see the whole thing, at a global level, as sort of apparitions in my brain.  Human interactions, mechanical and infrastructural set-up, philosophical wordings that will keep everyone focused and aware of our common moving in an beneficial direction.  Pace isn’t as important as vector.  The pace sure as hell could stand to be turned up once we get pointed properly, but until then, I guess crawling towards self-doom is better than sprinting there.  Good morning!

You’re not hiring people to work any more.  And, when any one of them/you is done for the day/session, you can go.  I know you can’t keep up with me, with a few rare exceptions.  I don’t expect you to.  I wrote all this shit down so you don’t have to.  Pick it up at your own pace, but hurry the fuck up about it.  lol.  Shut up and keep talking.

If you wanted to put it into easily-digestible book form, for example, my words, thoughts and ideas.  Don’t go through capitalist channels, and for god’s sake, consult me on the organization and theory behind doing that resource-hogging thing in the first place, and know that the proceeds go to the planet.  The people.  The coop.  Me.  If you do half the work, I’ll split it with you.  With that contribution you’re proposing, I’ll give you 20%.  I’m being generous.  You’re taking food out of my kids’ mouths by not joining this behemoth.  Leech.

I recorded a few trax last night, off tha ghee-tar.  Harmonica’d it a bit, also.  I might let you hear ‘em some day.  They might just be up on SoundCloud by the end of the day.  Who the fuck knows?

I get more done on days I ignore the ‘net.  In its current implementation, the amount of actually-relevant information that it hauls around is pretty low.  The rest of it is just TV-styled centralized mis/dis-information-delivery bullshit.  Even those of you who are exposed to “the net” as a whole, you still stick to your sanitized, censored, authorities.  Yeah, when “public” airwaves are public, I think they’ll be useful, too.  They sure as fuck aren’t now.  They keep you running in circles, buying poisons, and believing that the solution for your own pathetic loserness/fatness/unhappiness/disconnectedness/horniness/addictedness/meanness/dis’believerness/faith is gonna come from an outside source.  I’m sorry, but that just doesn’t match reality.  Remember reality?  Verified by laboratory science and universal truths alike?  Of course you don’t.  The phrase “reality TV” still echoes amongst the empty hallways between your ears.  Ask me if you don’t know what else there is to do.  I’ll rattle off an alphabetical list so predictable it isn’t even worth dialing.  You know exactly what I’m going to say, and if you want me to go with you as you do it, ask.  My time is worth $10/hour.  Or, whatever you make.  An evening of my entertainment costs what an average evening of your entertainment costs.  If that’s free, you’re more like me than you realize.  If it’s $300, you are going to have one hell of a good night.  I’m a communications consultant.  I can translate over 80,000 forms of gaming bullshit to put beautiful islands on the same page in less time than it takes me to redefine dance.  Just because you can’t see it happening doesn’t mean it’s not happening.  I feel you.

I have a tip can sitting on my “desk” with me today.  The Baths are making pretty sounds in my ears.  Animals.  It’s 1:31 pm.  14 oz of coffee left.  School board next on the agenda.  Dumping, brb.

False alarm.  Pisser.

It imagined its first shower in nearly a month in an over-sized, glass-surrounded room where it filmed an instructional music video, porn, and still photo set simultaneously, with touring suicide girls, a few locals, and its newly adopted traveling hooker harem.  She’s an honest-to-god rocket scientist, son.  No, I don’t think she will talk to you, but you’re free to try.

Where was I?  Oh, school board.  What a transition!

Oh, fuck.  Schools are a mess.  Over-grown, power tripping social-wannabe children who have been “educated” to the fullest extent of the law wielding supreme executive power over capable geniuses who run circles around everything they do.  What’s the point of this bullshit, exactly?  Let the kids design it.  Let them plan the life-skills they want to learn, and then let them learn those.  They’ll re-design your little municipality and power grid in no time flat.  I’ve seen them do it.  The rest will help build it.  Yeah, physically move shit around because you’re all to fat, lazy, and convinced that sitting behind a desk is your highest good, highest calling, and “the good life.”  Leeches.

Come on, kids.  I’ll help you get it set up.  I’m not gonna tell you how to do it, because I know you’ll be far more capable than I am.  I have slacker/philosopher/king disease.  I’m learning to love/live with it.  So far, so good.


Ok, SoundCloud.  I’m holding you to this:

User Generated Content

  1. Any and all music, videos, photos, pictures, graphics, comments, and other content, data or information that USER uploads, stores, transmits or submits to SOUNCLOUD’s Website (hereinafter “Content”) are generated by the USER, but not by SOUNDCLOUD. USER’s Content therefore remains in USER’s sole property and responsibility.
  2. SOUNDCLOUD does not claim any ownership rights in any Content and other materials which USER uploads, posts, stores or exchanges through SOUNDCLOUD’s Website and Services.
  3. USER hereby expressly acknowledges and agrees that USER him-/herself, and not SOUNDCLOUD, is fully responsible for all Content that USER uploads, posts, e-mails, transmits or otherwise makes available through SOUNDCLOUD’s Website or Services.
  4. USER acknowledges that Content uploaded to, or transmitted through SOUNDCLOUD’s Website or Services may be protected by copyrights, trademarks, service marks, patents or other intellectual property rights and laws. USER must not upload, display, send, transmit or otherwise make available any Content in which USER does not have the appropriate rights to do so. Unauthorized copying, distribution, modification, display, public performance or other unauthorized use of copyrighted works by USER may constitute an infringement of the copyright holders’ rights and may result in civil litigation and criminal prosecution.

Dead.  Fucking.  Serious.  = #NecroSerious  Am I being clear?

I really love you.  Am I being clear?  I don’t love you any more or any less than anyone else.  There are no hierarchies of love.  It just is.  Everything.


p.s. FB is growing on me. I may just have to destroy it.

p.p.s. I just uploaded Krish Sans Krish.  Fuck you, pay me.

p.p.p.s. I decided to release its wiz-dum, too.


~ by LazyAssWasteoid on 2010-10-1 (Friday).

One Response to “prop’a wayz 2tip”

  1. I like kittens.

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