Sure, here ya go:

Well, it really depends on whether your “participation” includes property or not.  If not, let others know that you’re available to help with labor projects.  You know what, I’m gonna describe the best-case scenario, and y’all can work out the half-assed partial methods of building eden.

You’re simultaneously committing a portion of your time, your “job,” and your property.  Property, first and foremost, should be assessed for maximizing human storage, urm, housing.  I know you think you want to live with family, but trust me, you don’t.  They can be a few houses away, you’ll still see them at every meal, and you’ll all have a place to escape with people who you can tolerate being around all the time.  Oh, yeah, you have to be able to tolerate being around yourself all the time.

To set up a house will be an ongoing process.  Figuring out how to manage the inputs and outputs will be the first priority.  Yep, food, water, electricity, air, clothing, tools, etc. are the inputs, and poop (compost/soil), (distilled) water, electricity, air, clothing, tools, etc. are the outputs.  Get it?  You maximize the number of people on the property so that it only takes a few hours per person per day to efficiently house and feed all of us.  Break tasks down to bite-sized chunks, and rotate them often.  Then, help each other without expecting anything.  If you don’t know or care about food, stay the fuck out of the way.  We’ll have delicious raw plants that you will learn to love more than poisoned meat.  They’ll help you lose that guuuuuuuuut, too.  Yikes.

So yeah, we’re gonna need the computer geeks to get working on the database, which will provide the non-competitive means to communicate about changing procedures.  Blocks can be conditioned on specific words, phrases, characters, and if I’m not interested in the particular dispute over wording in question, I don’t want to have to waste my time listening to you petty dorks bicker over terminology.  I do, however, want a full record of what you said available to look at later.  I want to be able to flag proposals that I don’t want to block yet, but which I can see causing problems later.  The purpose of this is to make sure people aren’t surprised, and don’t get their feelings hurt when I block one of their proposals.  And trust me, I will block your proposals.  I will tell you exactly why, provide statistics if necessary, and do as much in my power to teach you what it is that I have learned which led me to this conclusion.  I don’t know how much more I can do.  I will hug you repeatedly too, if that helps.

The gardens/farms will be distributed over as many acres as people want to add to the growing space.  The planting/irrigation/soil-building/harvest schedules/rotations/tasks will be online, and anyone with as little as 15 minutes to volunteer will be able to send an e-mail/text to the website, 24×7, for something to do.  Yeah, so some of us like weeding at 2 am, and if we have a solar-charged headlamp to allow this, what do you care?  You get to meet anyone who works on “your” property, the place where you reside.  When asked about these participants, you will fill out a survey on the website.  If you have “problems” with them, the two of you will be scheduled on projects together until you are two peas in a pod.  Yeah, it’s “supervised.”  More like public.

Food stores will be placed by reasonable outdoor walking distance in coldest conceivable weather.  In towns, this will probably be by block, neighborhood, building, etc.  “Underground” “refrigeration” systems that control humidity and temperature with simple sensors, vents, and off-the-grid power storage.  Power-over-ethernet computers will regulate all of this, provide eyes and ears, and do inventory.  Why the fuck do you think I call it LazyAssWasteoid?  Sheesh.

The idea here is to make sure the infrastructure of this area will survive and support us.  That means, help everybody get off the grid, keep their roof patched, house insulated and temp-regulated, as inexpensively as possible.  Solid systems, with many people trained on how to operate them efficiently.  I’m formatting your brain here.  There’s no way to do it without a little hurt.  It’s good pain, though.

Yeah, this system makes a lot of who you “thought” you were obsolete.  Who would you be, what would you be, and how would you spend your time if there were no need for lawyers, bankers, accountants, cashiers, managers, farmers, truck drivers, and all the rest of it?  Well, here’s the transition.  While you’re still doing those things, if you get cash from them, you get $10 per hour for that work.  If you make less, we’ll make up for it here, help you unionize, etc.  If you make more, the excess goes into the coop.  Oh, you think you’re worth more than us?  Fuck off, we don’t want your help.  If you contribute cash or property without contributing your time/person/love, don’t expect any say in its disposition or use.  We will decide, together, how to best use that resource to house, feed, entertain, teach, and transport us.  You can go back to stealing from other poor people.

Oh, it’s not?  That thing you’re selling, it’s essential to survival, isn’t it.  It’s of the absolute highest quality that exists on this planet and it’s offered at cost, guaranteeing a living wage to anybody who assisted in its production or transportation, right?  Oh yeah, it’s cheap, poisonous, addictive shit that you’ve been getting rich on for decades.  Nah, not any more it isn’t.

Morello squeals!  Testify! “Ughhh!”

What else do you need to know before I leave?  Lawns?  No.  No, no no no, no, no, NO!  Lawns are for baseball and ultimate fields.  Warehouses all need rainbarrel trailers to fill, local tanks for solar operations, and solar distillers.  Fuck your chemtrail poisons.

Here’s another good screamy album intro.

Pyramids shall be used extensively throughout the system.  They are power generators, water energizers, communication and magnification devices, and older than history.  Weld up stainless steel pyramids and drop them to the bottom of polluted waterways.  Set up light diffracting above-water pyramids to focus solar energy into the water.  Learn about and use water wheels, “burial” mounds (they affect chi and water movements), pyramids, and downshoots/downspouts.  The planet is literally falling apart at the tectonic plates because greed is draining our crankcase.  We can use pyramids and tachyonic downspouts to tie it back together.  These natural disasters are caused by the war machine, in a very real, literal and direct sense.  They know how to stop hurricanes cold, and how to stop tsunamis and earthquakes by not raping mother earth in the first place.  She’s a violent one, this machine you’ve put in charge.  It’s time to revoke they charter/diplomatic-immunity.  If they think they can get away with hoodwinking anyone, moving operations to any corner of the globe, we will find and dismantle their stranglehold, gracefully, quickly, and gently.  You don’t out-gun the man.  You out-love the (hu)man.  Yeah, we care about those people, too.

The virus?  Oh, it’s not really a traditional virus.  It’s a human engineering Trojan.  Once the seed is planted, it grows.  Seeds/plants take time to take root, don’t they?  Some sprout quickly, falling on shallow soil.  Some don’t sprout at all, their landing spots being so compacted, covered with concrete, asphalt, and various toxins.  But then, the bulk of the seeds fall on good, fertile soil that’s protected by loving people.  Many loving people.  Per acre.  We live, literally, amongst the fields when stuff is growing there.  How else do we ensure the poison-mongers don’t sneak in and try to kill us again?  I guess in a certain sense, it could be modified pretty easily to become a more traditional “virus,” but why?  This thing is based on entirely free, open source (it’s not really “stolen”) and collaboratively improved technology/code/thought.  It installs itself prior to that which you thought was your reality.  This is the shortcut.

Is my extra assholeness the only reason this shit hasn’t gone anywhere?  I know I smell funny, compared to most o’ya.  I look like the asshole baby of the Unabomber and a Guantanamo detainee.  So.  What.  I’m the only one of me, I’m the next big thing, the last big thing, and the end of isolation.

Ok, more twitting!  And Zombie!!!

Happy?  Sorry, that’s not a question, it’s an order.


~ by LazyAssWasteoid on 2010-08-19 (Thursday).

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: