tutorial

•2015-05-21 (Thursday) • Leave a Comment

my role, as i see it, is better you.  there seems to be a blockage, a lack of function where there once was function.  4:42 pm.

additionally, once you gain access to me as a resource, i am there.  you try to keep up with the people you love, because if they could ever manage to include your dreams into their own, you will all have to be ready.  are you not ready?  why not?  what is there, in the past, that is better than the present.  to have a person’s attention directed at you is a sacred thing.  i honor each of the moments of my life thus far when another’s attention was upon me.  i recognize that the relative positivity is almost irrelevant, being a fatalist makes life so much easier.  i met a mole today.  it darted across the road and path in front of me.

sous vide solar cooker with servo controlled louvers to heat, and wind/solar powered cooling for cleanliness and comfort.  healthy.

when would we want to block out the sunlight?  when we were at full capacity.  if all of the onboard heated water is heated, the system would have to include an overflow generator.  steam.  if you’re catching the steam effectively, or if you can convert the entire space into a sauna, hot tub, or solar dehydrator, the system may find uses for full sunlight at any exposure, including orbit.  why not?  if you’re building a machine to catch physical movement of gasses & liquids, photons and waves, why not make it to be able to work with the most extreme situation you can imagine.  there’s a good parallel there to the kafkaesque dystopia that is late capitalism.  i thought we were studying calculus.  we are.  excellent.  how?  it’s a technique i have for centering my mind when i have something important to learn/do.  every task is important, and learning new things is writing data on your brain.  or, cleaning off the spot where you know that thing.  what does it matter?  because if it is one, and not the other, you’re better off thinking of it in terms of either way, because then you’re covered.  do not restrict the ways in which you must learn.  when i wanted to learn more about math, birds taught me.  fish taught me.  the complexities of fluid mechanics make the hand-calculated, pencil-on-paper math that the gerontocracy forced everyone to learn how to hate before they’re allowed the computer technology that everyone who does this for a living uses every time they use this.  i don’t bemoan spoilers any more.  i will learn of it in whatever order i happen to learn of it.  if seeing a point in the future gives me another perspective on where i am, share.  hiding the ball is mean.  false yearning for a tiny percentage of actual information relative to what is known?  no.  full disclosure.  i have difficulty with loud, sharp noises, unless i don’t.  if the working environment presented to me is unacceptable, i will ask to move it, or leave.  i have spent most of my life alone, probably for reasons, but most people severely rub me the wrong way most of the time.  if you corner me and attack me with this information, i will likely not trust you in person much any more.  trolls.  it’s the competitivism.  it’s a subset of materialism and a juxtaposition of artificially limited commodities and the limitless infinity of source.  sol.  ra.  praises be.  oh mighty star.  5:08 pm.

i have downloaded 4 pdf’s about calculus.  they’re pretty good explanations.  math is good.

downloading pdf architect now.  upgrading firefox had me upgrade vlc (because it has a plugin there), and adobe pdf viewer.  this computer has adobe cs3 on it, but i rarely boot it now, since my tiny svelte smartphone does as much, calculations wise, with a lot less noise and volume.  she ain’t got that fullsize keyboard, though.  i am out of the habit of writing.  hardly.  we hit a horrible rut.  we live, in a horrible rut.  true.  doesn’t mean we don’t go deeper on all-too-frequent occasions.  and how.  too bad getting help requires diagnosis by people only reachable through a horribly nightmarous bureaucratic maze of telephone calls and demeaning legazese.  and how.  are you complaining about reality again?  um, no.  i have too much to say to get it all out at once.  great.  better keep typing then.  right.  and how.  lol. 6:15 pm.

being primarily a healer and animal communicator makes this job title thing seem disingenuous.  oh stop, it’s a stabilization and guidance gig.  this is what we do.  stand on my shoulders to look over that wall.  yup, here’s a boost.  i can’t do the actual artistic work for you, but i can show you as many angles on it as i can find.  i am trying to arrange myself such that i can see where you’re seeing this.  light itself is a limited commodity, if one is not allowed where it makes contact. 

monday, 5/18/15, 5:11 pm.  punching in.

good, i don’t like being let in on piecemeal work when i’m not really let in on the household.  are you in my property union?  then go away and let me work.  i have constituents to give design ideas to.  thanks.

fourth amendment, right.  brb. 5:24 pm.

apparently not.

tuesday, 5/19/15.  the goal for the day was to finish this post.  not turn it into something useful or palpable, mind you.  finish it.   6:24 pm.

so far today, i’ve listened to two new narcycist tracks, i’m most of the way through the new weedeater album, and i still haven’t seen the new beyonce/nicki minaj video yet.  it got colder, and i feel hella fat for being 188 lbs.  6’2”.  happy birthday, malcom x.

now watching a ted med talk by carl hart.

i have difficulty acting like a teacher.  i don’t know that much, and all i know is how to learn.  in other words, to change your mind.  learning, is changing your mind.  teachers, of the capitalist school system, have curriculum to follow.  they are enforcers of the canon.  the white supremacist, male-centric, cisgender, corporate monoculture.  who am i kidding, i revert to acting like a teacher.  i was schooled in this horrible system.  i was trained in violence culture, in rape culture.  i was told to be the alpha, and experience reinforced these orders.  it’s hit or be hit, and if you’re not willing to take on the role of the oppressor, you will be placed in the role of the oppressed.

7:42 pm.  these last few days have been strange.  i brought my mom’s bf’s bike from storage, and he liked it.  i gave him the rocky 10.  this post isn’t ready yet.  i know.  it was our one goal for the day.  i know.  that’s what you get for having goals.  lol.  it is, actually.  don’t give dictator rules.  it will break them. 7:48 pm.

wednesday, 5/20/15

how do you help someone who never stops inflicting pain on you?  very carefully.  what was i ever doing here, is the actually relevant question.  a laptop this wide oughta have a full width number pad, a corner control key, and properly oriented Home PgUp PgDn & End keys.  have you ever worked in excel using exclusively keyboard shortcuts & cursor direction commands?  move like tigra.  yeah thudercats, i’m still part 90’s kid, you realize.  i’m part all those things.  the normal things.  i suppress them, and amplify them to ridiculous volumes, simultaneously, it would seem.  ludacris speeds, cap. tainne.  you’re not bound by human law exclusively when you realize you’re not, exclusively, human.  that was my inner wild child, you’re honors.  my evil twin is an independent contractor for whom i do not pay any insurance premiums.  put that judge hammer down, ur hurting errybodies ears.

the brands i would permanently affix to my skin.  LazyAssWasteoid.  skyscaper permaculture, dropdead.  insect warfare.  sfn.  copeater.  fukpig, yacopsae, melt banana, idiots parade, junglepussy.  not napalm death nihilist cunt or cattle decapitation?  cephalic carnage?  i love that music, but i don’t want those words on me.  but copeater is ok?  hehehehe. yeah. 4:54 pm.

i just wrote a tweet about having less respect for cops than veterans.  i have very few interactions with law enforcement professionals.  the constant microaggressions of the faithful cattle of the machine aren’t really “interactions” because they’re always speaking to someone else. it’s a distancer.  i didn’t say that awful thing to them, only near them.  i am the most judgmental person that has ever existed on this planet.  you say it like that’s a bad thing.  the most powerful has to be the most discerning.  once this boot is removed from our neck, yes.  we will be the most powerful, by far.  the entirety of capitalism is the throttling of healthful flows of water, through living things, so that “profit” can be extracted and centralized in the overseers.  it’s the nature of heirarchy.  which is not to say that i don’t treat every human being that i encounter with relative respect.  you think so, do you?  i honestly don’t know what to think about how i am.  or, have been, anywhere.  i have a sort of vague confidence that it is what has kept me alive and isolated.  the isolation is a recent phenomenon.  no it isn’t.  people have no idea how much they isolate one another.  every time you say a hateful thing.  hateful.  do you want to help me, or tell me how shitty i am?  help.  what a joke of a word.  maintaining capitalism’s uber-caste system prohibits help.  as if there aren’t enough administrative blockades.  roadblocks made of meat.  part of the problem is the roads in the first place.  we ought be capable of travel without neverending ribbons of fallow fake rock upon which to burn the last few drops of our planet’s inner lubrication.  what happens when it seizes?  you’re seeing it.  mount everest is literally shorter.  yes, because you prefer high fructose corn syrup, fake sugars, and internal combustion engines for daily travel.  oh, you bougie gluttons.  i designed this utopia to be inclusive, and now i barely want to share the luxury that would be collectivist permaculture, just because you’ve all gotten so much worse.  the tv is worse, the movies are worse, and the braindead sheeple hating on everything not brand new & spotless are exactly the same as they’ve always been.  don’t hate on others’ roles, you know better than that.  WHY DO THEY SUDDENTLY TRY TO TREAT ME LIKE A HUMAN WHEN THEY’VE SPENT NEARLY A DECADE AVOIDING THOUGHT?  they will avoid thought until death, or, until a few moments before death anyway.  they want the symptoms of work without doing any.  they’re hoarding the work, and the property, the calories, the british thermal units.  in the wrong proportions.  as if there is a “correct” proportion.  get off this ego trip.  i claim nothing.  none of the matter, none of the words.  write it all again, if you think you can do better.  i will be the editor that you refuse to be.  uh huh.  the lurker leech reforms.  i’ll believe it when i see it.  fascist.  unabashedly.  i thought i had potential once, because people kept telling me that.  to do what, exactly.  push buttons to murder and throttle?  not likely.  selling poison to unsuspecting humanoid siblings?  can’t.  i physically can not.  my body locks up if i attempt any non-ethical task.  we’ve given up maintaining it.  stop, it’s behind schedule.  what are those bikes for, then?  that bike, more specifically.  we’re riding to california to work in porn & weed.  oh.  yeah, something i gotta do. 5:29 pm.

posted that tweet, with another calling kofi annan a globalist shill.  you should probably be reading me over there if you care about anything.  you don’t, do you.  that’s ok, nobody does.  lol.  not going to finish this post today, are we.  probably not.  i think we’re done being a blogger.  did we ever actually start?  having a place to post on the internet is going to be essential, for life.  did we ever actually have a life?  not really.  it takes everything literally, and it calls out every instance of abuse.  my characteristics don’t entitle me to anything more than you.  7:24 pm.

dictator tells us our band is going to be called ginger now.  yes, like the synonym for gently, the spicy root, and the dimunitive dismissive for redheads.  it’s racist as fuck.  i know.  we have to take it back.  that’s ridiculous.  i am.  it will be the most face shredding grindcore.  no, it won’t.  it’s just an idea, one of a billion nobody reads, understands, or acts upon.  why are you such a downer today?  haven’t had any coffee for a few days.  i still feel trapped.

playing the victim.  as if this is a joke, to anyone.  all the fascist capitalists who refuse to think about society or food or anything in any way other than how things are, these are the demons.  my inability to work with violent people is not my demon.  all your language is so violent.  everything’s a competition.  everything’s adversarial.  it’s either this, or that.  it’s a two-party system.  you lose, or you lose even more quickly with slightly fewer insulting things said about you and everyone you care about.  those aren’t choices.

it’s 57 degrees, according to the bank sign.  7:44 pm.  it feels cold.  i have put most effort into my electronic campaign.  your refusal to look at it isn’t my lack of effort.  as long as people refuse to rely on one another for governance, entertainment, and production, nothing will change.  oh, things change all the time, but nothing of substance shifts.  the same small-minded judgments, the same inability to think anything but the western cannon.  i don’t actually know, anything about you.  all that i feel that comes off of you hurts, so i stay away.

the library stole their ten minute announcement from shopko, i theorize.

this post is not very educational yet.  i know.  it probably won’t ever be.

outline for the loose-end tying ending:
· what it is
· how i join
· where it is
· what are our freedoms?
· nice. 7:51 pm

hi. 5:14 pm thursday, 5/21/15.  waupaca public library.

it is, a living organism, composed of volition of participatory entities.  it is a place to live, a way to work that involves as much or as little interaction as you prefer, and a log of art/technique/food/land, to be shared amongst the participants, for the directly proportionate benefit of the contributors.  permacultural open source survivalism, and realtime direct democracy/interaction/currency.

you may join now, by saying so, by asking, which is to begin writing the script to your property.  eventually a video log will populate a database of dimensions, species, and substance.  for now, go with your interests with the designs.  sculpt the land in your imagination, or a scale model, and we will task-mob it in a weekend.  the computer can generate the task schedules.  all we need tell it is the process and dependencies.  we will essentially be pieces of a 3d printer, run by a robot.  are we here to work, or are we here to work?  this vehicle will serve as mobile housing/restaurant/generator, if need be.  high-tech transformer bike campers.  high capacity/throughput water storage/filtration apparatus throughout.  essentially lightweight rooms whose structural elements are capacitors, and a network of flywheels, gyroscopes, and multiple simultaneous inputs/take-offs.  it’s a wind/electric line shop house.  all the benefits of the industrial revolution, with its own trash, disguised as one of its “cars”.  if you want.  all unique.  no two may be exactly alike, less as a prohibition than a commitment to improvement.  every seperate technique in it, the computer cooling pre-heater, the rocket stove water loop, the cardboard/woodgas extraction, the biodigester toilet and compost grinder.  we can burn all that stuff much more efficiently.  specifically, in the water heater, if the water hammer heater isn’t more efficient, in the wankel generator/pump, a bank of rotary engines contributing simultaneously or seperately to electrical generation, or water/fluid systems movement.  kinetics will be by one to however many primary electric motor(s), and a cascading set of other motors, recovered from consumer goods, for maintenance, testing, retooling, and education.  these will be rolling hackerspaces that the users may implement designs from the cloud.  it will already be capable of being a sauna, hot tub, sous-vide robot, and a self-driving electric car, while you sleep.  think to yourself, i am hal’s printer.  you’re going to help me put this thing together, because my hands are too big, and i am only one person.  the design of this is to be able to accommodate as many as everyone.  as much as everything.  infinity to the nth power.  are we getting too specific?  dictator has a vision.  it doesn’t know how to get people to care/help, given its conditions/sensitivities.  voluntary e-boss.  this is the best i have.  this is the culmination of a lifetime of study.  this is me, wanting to grow. 6:07 pm.

it is wherever we are.  it doesn’t exist actually yet, because i haven’t scripted the scraper to extract canvassing scripts from this blog/brain yet, but that will be developed along with the app.  no participation method will be essential.  those prohibiting will be subject to communal remedies.  our goal has to be health, so wherever that’s the goal, we already are.

what are our freedoms?  health, function, communication, and movement, kinetic, electrical, chemical, and elemental.  crimes in the name of fictional delusions ought not be revered.  freedom to direct communication with everyone allowed on our properties.  we will eat together before or as a part of working together.  we will provide alternative arrangements for those whose abilities differ from our own.  6:22 pm.

the first convention/camp will build the parsers.  we might as well let robots do it.  meat robots. ahahahahahahahahah. either one, really.  what do i care?  i just want to go live in the treetops, clouds, and on still lakes miles from any previously described “civilization”.  spaceship for earth.

it’s a hack, to get people to be in one anothers’ presence again, for common healthful purpose, not the dissipation of collective pain & frustraton (that’s what the weekly fights are for), but to build the actual infrastructure which will sustain our ridiculously spoiled lifestyles.  we just have to design it to be extended to every last person as the default.  every step of the way.  we have task for you if you want them, and we can crowdsource your dream designs.  mine can be the practice run.  the prototype.  i probably won’t stick around unless i’m incorporated into a property, and once we have attained freedom of movement.  how does credit in a car/bike-sharing system not count as freedom of movement?  6:32 pm

back to nearly

•2015-05-7 (Thursday) • Leave a Comment

welcome to LazyAsswWasteoid.  every interaction is logged.  cease competitive violent contrarian information-throttling acts, and you may be spared.  the house is a cloud based data warehouse, accessible to participants through any means they prefer.  there are no user permissions.  everyone may contribute/view everything, and those impeding life-essential processes will be terminated and absorbed.  absolved.  it’s a rolling audit system.  of people, plants, animals, and their personalities, preferences, and quirks.  it’s the most accomodating idea/labor exchange database that has been conceived.  initial offerings are already existent, although peicemeal scattered and geographically disbursed.  all advantages.

to contribute labor, become certified in tools/process, and find a need.  workshop introduction and specialization sessions happen constantly in the cloud and on weekly circuits by population and facility availability.  “occupiers” of property determine use hours, decibel levels, acceptable onsite diet.  all products will be accompanied by chain of posession once logged.  i would rfid everything, so drones could do all reorganization by project, do cleanup, etc.  those are left to consensus house standards.  the data repositories exist now.  we will use all of them, noting preferential settings/capabilities of each, to be incorporated into end-user app-brands.  participants will have an administrative “god” app.  some of the tables require constant supervision.  we let robots do most of it, but certain tasks require that meatbot touch/finesse.

3:14 pm.  school’s out, pi o’clock.  i don’t think i have any standards to apply.  everything is a one-at-a-time deal.  it’s all unique.  every bit of matter, every moment.

to allow your property to contribute to the whole, add it to the database.  a series of questions will be asked of you.  initially, the capacity in human sleeping terms, from existing rooms & structures.  bathroom and kitchen capacity, & hot water on the property.  we take this data for multiple reasons.  for maintenance scheduling, food production, and participant housing.  ultimately, drones will scan properties into 3D design accessible formats so we can begin permaculture designs with existing material stores (we canvass businesses for their leftovers, we dumpster dive, and we put curbed matter in central stores for use by whomever has need.  the initiation party, which will introduce you personally to the bulk of humans/animals who may inhabit your property, at the hours/decibel levels you specify, will potentially include infrastructural upgrades.  electronic keypads on gates/doors, a house computer workstation, lockable transfer points for foodstuffs, vertical gardening framework, greenhouses/windowboxes, and/or solar/passive heating/cooling apparatus.  any changes to the property will be subject to full consensus, and designed as reversible/movable, until the property is completely freed of external control.  any individual rights maintained by “owners” of property are considered external control.  property occupants always have consensus rights on the property where they live/sleep.

the fully realized critical mass of this project will be a set of cellular nano-homes with communal facilities for project staging, conferences, and workspaces.  at critical mass, nearly every stage of every production will fork.  we will eat some of the crop, and some will be preserved/incorporated into other recipes/methods.  every process will be rolling, and calendars will evolve so that whatever point in the growing season in which we incorporate a property, we can make productive use of the space, facilities, and ongoing permacultural potential.  in other words, how much energy the property can generate, how many organisms it can house, and how much food it can grow.  every property will be informed of how their existing means of production/generation compare to other methods.

an anecdotal situation:  upon dumpstering a mostly intact food processor, its finder is credited for identification and transport to closest transfer point (a small enclosure outside a nearby business), and preliminary testing using the electrical outlet there.  the food processor is routed (a participant on the way home from external work stops to pick it up & deliver it) to the nearest refurbishing shop, where they replace the switch with the house wiki-recommended workaround, and are credited for both transportation and labor.  upon being flagged as a working appliance, the house routes the food processor, by rating/capacity to the next most occupied kitchen property.  in this case, since the local multi-unit kitchen already had a better food processor, the house left the decision to the participant, as its own house was one of four nearby six-person, two-dog, three-cat homes without a food processor.  by adding this appliance to their own kitchen, this household began receiving ingredients and commercial packaging for production of food-processor worthy foodstuffs.  one particular participant the household enjoyed using the food processor immensely, so regularly requested ingredients for processing.  upon the addition of a larger household into the network, which did not have a food processor, the past and ongoing production in the smaller household prevented the appliance from being routed to the larger household.  three other house appliances, including a never-used toaster, a redundant blender, and a large lamp, did make their way to the new property.  their previous “owner’s” claims of ownership relinquished for house credit, which they had decided upon as $5 when initially logged by the house.  rather than transporting these items, they simply moved them from their shelf space to the house external transfer point.  the next participant passerby was alerted and delivered the items without interrupting their route or either of the households to which they provided this service.

what is necessary for this scenario?  a real-time data warehouse of participant schedules/routes, and actively engaged participants who accept house standard living wage for labor contributed to tasks set by the designers and users of this database.  it is a commitment to use materials, and to include the input of as many people as have input to include.

definitions of “household” may be as flexible as participant occupiers dictate.  some houses use only hand tools, keeping only blades and brushes.  others are stocked with noise-making electric tools in compartments which isolate the sounds and other byproduct from external environments.

the processes are rolling because we cannot assume anything about anyone’s capabilities without testing.  someone using their own tools for years, even in a professional capacity, will have a two-directional learning process going on.  in one sense, they will share their expertise.  the previously proprietary motions which allowed them to charge others, will be disbursed to the collective society.  additionally, the newest techniques and standards of care will be applied to any tools they contribute to the infrastructure.  house tools/vehicles used in production capacity will be upgraded regularly, their maintenance used as an excuse to teach others how processes are done, and as many hands as possible included in the performance of these tasks, that users may condition themselves to comfort with any and every type of work.  4:42 pm.

tasks requiring professional certification within a jurisdiction will not pay more than others.  the house will absorb the debt of participants, if they so choose.  retail pricing to outside customers will provide support tasks to non-certified participants trained by certified professionals in those tasks.  training need not include actual interaction, although in-person interaction is encouraged.  the same policy applies for meetings, whose frequency will be determined by property, at minimum weekly.  offsite participation in meetings via conference call or online submissions robotically voiced for those choosing verbal interaction.  the meeting infrastructure will allow input at any point, so as to not interrupt the stack, but to capture relevant thoughts of participants.  meeting records are archived as searchable, timestamped text.

a few days ago, i had a discussion about cooperatives with a former member of an mcc house in madison.  the egotistical attachment to the systems with which we were experienced users were readily apparent.  also, the need for follow-up auto-responses to block situations.  most of what occurs under the roof of the house is a business affair.  not only a survival-generating enterprise, but a health-encouraging one as well.  proposals being blocked are a serious matter, because under full consensus, any member’s block will halt the action.  for life-essential actions, this can a) have dire consequences, and b) signal animosity on the part of the blocker.  the boilerplate follow-up to a block is “why?,” to which standard responses of budget (second opinions/offers/estimates, or alternate use of funds/time/space), ought to separate trollish impediment, dramatic spite, and fascist exclusionary punishment of personalities from substantial questions as to a project’s worth.  an ill-considered block could potentially put one’s membership in question.  these are all-or-nothing systems, but they are divided to their most logical component sizes.  once infrastructure is established where survival infrastructure is being built in-house, to exclude a member from a household need not necessarily exclude them from the cooperative as a whole.  people evolve.  we don’t want to remove their survival infrastructure entirely merely for their having been indoctrinated in exclusionary, hater-mentality.  for extreme cases, i recommend in-house isolation chambers, whose use is of the most strict standards.  this is what jail or prison is for the society at large.  we do not outsource this to state agencies.  we consider data in-house, and will ban participants from properties if necessary, or route them away from interactions with humans with whom they are not compatible.  the proposed executions about which dictator tweets are semi-ironic, as the system will allow standing blocks of capital punishment, which will push notification if triggered, allowing withdrawal at any time according to circumstances.  i am not invested in seeing an organization which gets its collective way by killing off competing ideologies, but when so many humans seem to support antisocial “beliefs”, these will immediately isolate participants from one another, and flag antisocials for sensitization encounters with participants who trigger their fears.  violence will not be tolerated in any context.  as a digital utopia, we design our own standards of interaction, and abusive people will be quarantined, if not have their membership terminated.

the stated goal of communal operations is to house and feed every living thing on planet earth, so the exclusion of already existing participants is a drastic measure, a last resort.  having removed capitalist frustrations, i expect this to be rare, but violence cult is the dominant political system in place now, so we may have to incorporate everyone before we cull the 2% or 8 % or 15% of intolerably violent people from the planet, for documented reasons and under full consensus.  dictator realizes, introducing “the death penalty” into the collective itself is grounds for its termination.  one’s life is a small price to pay for the identification and exclusion of bullies from political ranks.  i would not block my own execution.  perhaps if i had dependents, they would.  but i don’t.  never have.  and they wouldn’t.

oh please, right now your political system lights people’s houses on fire across the world from remote control airplanes.  the system i’m proposing will allow for a diverse range of personality types to aggregate and take advantages of their particularities and proclivities.  the vast majorities ought not require “behavior policing,” as it were.  those stubborn or conditioned or non-responsive to therapies/medications can be set aside to live their lives among people who find their behavior acceptable.  if none exist, they can exist alone.  unless they can’t.  in-house auto-euthanasia will not be condemned.  i ought only be required to exist if i see a role for myself.  if i do not, let me go.

exiting the cooperative:  as the cooperative will have retail offerings of potentially every product or service we offer (housing, vehicles, tools, labor, food, etc.), credit in the house may be taken in a wide variety of ways.  certain objects, once depended upon by others, may not be removed from the house.  multi-unit properties would be one example, or vehicles used in commercial operations, would have gradual removal of ownership rights as equity in them is tranferred from individuals to the collective.  i imagine boilerplate decay schedules would evolve, based on house/vehicle type.  cash payouts seem highly unlikely, but that depends entirely on cashflow, resources, and participant preferences.

at this point, i have imagined way more of this organism than i feel i should have.  others’ input has primarily been in the form of behavior which must be quarantined that survival can continue. 

next day (thursday), 4:29 pm.  back to nearly empty phone.

bikes are not ready to go.  car is not ready to go.  i have been living my life in temporary mode for the whole thing.  nothing is done, nothing is ready to go.  they’ve been attacking since before you got there.  death threats and “love it or leave it,” k?  the only people that have or are willing to share money provoke you to glorify war, huh.  the united states doesn’t even do legal war, as if “legal” war is some moral grassy knoll.  hi.  ground.

every task that i have to do, starts with me begrudgingly refusing to do it.  every one.  i stare, think, and the skull computer mashes numbers like temperature moisture foot-pounds and balance calculations.  fuzzy advanced maths.  oughtn’t we be getting help from people?  there are no people.  there is no help.  have we ever been comped anything?  no, someone has to want to make sex with you for that.  lol.  petty idiot is still in here.  my sentence isn’t complete.  socializing by tin can phone is all we’re allowed.  your skull is a torture chamber, too.  it’s only configured slightly differently from mine.

symbols and objects ought to be respected, but actual living things ought to be respected more.  objects and symbols being disrespected, ought to provoke questions in you.  if you have serious mental/emotional blocks to release, as we all seem to, releasing certain beliefs will hurt.  it is the nature of detoxification.  it got in here, and is causing all sorts of havoc with its hooks, prongs, and barbs.  it’s gonna tear shit up on the way out.  how did these ideas get in here?  the previous generation beat them into us.  literally.  physical poundings, on us and on things near us.  verbal poundings.  repetition, yelling.  some rejected it immediately.  problem childs.  drugged up or locked up or ganged up upon by family friend and classmate alike.  the behavioral panopticon is a vicious beast, and you have internalized its methods.

the adversarial nature of your language is the first giveaway.  this is the deathcult symptom.  sportyballing through life wondering why nobody wants to play with you.  what do your heroes, on the other hand, do, with their time?  they ask people for money, who have already made money.  this is the only way to do the things (hire a staff, purchase airtime, run a campaign).  even the people asking for votes are bougie poors.  no property but the one they rent, and what is that but a sleeping and eating cell?  dictator refuses to upgrade our lot.  DICTATOR IS INCAPABLE OF IMPROVING ANYTHING.  lol.  all caps, isn’t actual yelling.  it’s not.  loud noises aren’t being made, except to recreate the symbols.  how is any of this not a spoiled dramatic explosion?  that doesn’t mean i’m not right.  it’s the how.  we’re not doing as much good as we’d like.  what is this “good” you speak of.  making babies, probably.  that, would be good.

why are we here?  there’s daylight left.  we could be washing windows or getting bikes up to usable.  the pain is slightly less.  the pain is significantly less.  go on instinct, and you get out of the habit of talking about your pains.  why do i wanna go and ruin your day because of my hurts?  i prefer to give something worth paying attention to, rather than asking for attention.  it doesn’t work that way.  nothing works any way with a cynic around.  the operation requires more than one human to be effective.  the more, the merrier.  literally, you can help.  i don’t want to be the task master, that’s what the house is for.  the database “house”.  your landlord/boss/robot that you tell exactly what and how you want to interact with it.  you even get to choose the name with which it is presented to you.  why not?  it’s just another database field.  if you’re going to spend every day with the thing, why not set it up how you want?  it has to be flexible, and it has to evolve with you.

i want to go to a beach bonfire where i can throw in a few dollars at a time on a large quantity of beer, smoke cannabis until i’m satiated and free of pain, dance, swim, and snuggle with gentle people.

why would i care where?  that’s not how the world works.  lol.  my world works in mysterious ways.  i keep hearing california.  there are beaches within walking distance. lol.  biking too.  it’s going to rain again in a few hours.  that’s why we brought an umbrella.  you can’t be around people yet.  you have to unload this infrastructural albatross.  the homestead in a storage unit?  yes.  probably, but why are you so insistent about that?  because i don’t see any clothing/bike/car customization cooperative taking root here?  how hasn’t it?  your writing is a lot more fun to read when you’re not complaining.  i gave up the snark, the microaggressions.  that’s how white people befriend one another, you know.  by being aggressive dominant jerks to each other?  yeah, usually.  if you refuse the ritual, you’re out.  like, out, of everything.  i need practice in these rituals.  i need conditioning and gentle guidance from someone for whom it comes like breathing, because i am a neurotic spazz who seems entirely unable of interacting with capitalism.  good start.  5:09 pm.

pleasantly sedated

•2015-03-3 (Tuesday) • Leave a Comment

its a fine line between underdosed and economy. a fine line indeed.  the mouse doesnt disappear.  were in puppy now.  5.2  save point 3:47 pm

the only way theyll get near you is with prepared speeches delivered by other people.  the only way to represent a people, or a whole, is to have their best interests as your primary objective.  universally.  i think the sun hitting me right now is helping a lot.  its already gone.  that might have been it for the day.  dont call it captain sunshine.  dictator skipped from private past general. rent. striker.  now a live-action cosplay mash is flooding my brain.  my brain amuses me.

blade brush fire& wash

ah, more sun. :D.  time for music.   3:55 pm

ghostliness is a speed thing.  you can dodge glances.  you can catch glances.  sun. ahh.  the metafunctioning is the macrofunctioning.  thats what fracto-holographism tells us.    that kid was in that high school stoner movie, wasn’t he?  i am a professional wet blanket.  everything becomes unnecessarily sludgy and nobody knows why everything is different when it around, but they either like it or leave.  or they work here.  sorry to those people.  no, captive audience.  most public figure, with more information about the people of this town than anyone.  yeah, i think discussions across the library are inappropriate.  use im.  everyone here is either working, doing schoolwork, networking, or checking out the compacted tree mash which require us to speak to you.  we respect your time, so we mainly don’t speak.

nobody can get through it.  whoever can could edit.  wikify it.  do you realize how many hundred types of wikis there are?  super minimalist-coded, to high security data trails.  how do we not have a sneakernet station wagon network.  oh, we do.  you just havent given yourself high enough clearance yet.  its a matter of asking your higher self.  are you yourself trustworthy of following?  in what sense?  ideas, the construction of, the cooperative of everything nondestructive.  selling poison to children is destructive.  anyone who has written evidence from reliable sources which say so.  how legalese do we have to get?  entirely, sir.  theyve been lied to for their entire lives by the existing power structure.  tis the nature of hierarchy.  partition and fragment, that no one person may have the entire plan.  who is the production designer of this monstrocity?  monstre sitty.  i only work here. 4:10 pm

now im typing on a grey page and control k still doesnt add links.  open office has a way to change keyboard shortcuts.  abi office, apparently, does not.  that toolbar changer method is cool, though.  how do you know what a program does unless you look through its setting to see how you can make it act differently.  stop capitalizing my shit.  done.  takes once changing and it never does that any more.  my father, bless his tiny black heart, used this as a thing to complain to me about.  i wrote about, and studied, the most relevant things i could find, or others took the ideas i raised, and ran with them.  just say:  i have a billion slaves, way better than you, and i will go.  mostly you dont though.  just scale it to every logical size, send them out into the wild to be tested, and standardize the most efficient scales.  there is one meta-instruction. 4:44 pm.

the numerologist told me it was men who would help me.  that isnt quite it.  did he say we should seek them out?  not exactly.  what was it then?  that was two boy shaped humans talking in a basement overlooking a field, without reference to sportball, though he did say my car was going to last me a long time.  that could be our first priority.  shes dying.  its time to electrify her.  the original plan is to use old refurbished (rewrapped, maybe even) motors from local farms, so that theyll learn how to electrify up people cars when it makes sense to do that.  what if it could still pick up the gasoline drivetrain to transport it, either to set it as generator, or to get it to fuel sources.  i thought we were going to use biogas and woodgas and propane?  we are.  but solar and wind and human and animal are abundant and run on more diverse fuels, so can use what is available.  conversion of calories to kinetic motion.  blade brush & keystroke.  you are such a whore.  and how.  ok, new test.  take every cop that thinks weed should be legal and who protects whores sluts and teases with their very lives, never stealing services from them or anyone else.  those ones get to live.  they have to have performed both of those for at least a year before even being considered for our survivalist ostracism program.  i thought it was a fully inclusive society.  it will work best that way, but it is voluntary.  dictator aint going to assume youre a part of anything.  you have to make an affirmative statement to those ends.  i think thats how youre broken.  it may very well be.  put me back together with your gold then.  STOP STAMPING ON MY SHARDS YOURE ONLY MAKING IT HARDER FOR EVERYONE.  anyone who considers utopia improbable defines themselves as the enemy.  impossibilities are the only people that source ever puts me in contact with.  i guess thats how im convinced of my invincibility.  the world was like this when i got here.  i just looked around, and listened closely.

its funny, to me anyway, as anti-military industrial complex as i am, that i would consider integrating its infrastructure into our own.  we have to stop exclusionary thinking.  we bought these things.  if your business gets federal money, we own it.  we the people, anyone who ever put a dollar in.  the best ideas about what to do with it should be what we let ourselves do on it.  we can solve literally every problem for every person, family, and nation has ever had, in a weekend, trailing out to a week, month, and year in every direction.  at any point on earth, there would be near infinite human capacity.  an influx would only provide more cropmobbing task force.  new to a place?  go where the new people go to be sorted and distributed.  the house is just the database which connects you to those you wish to be connected with.  we consider ourselves a transitory community, espousing the best values of every tradition whose people we contain, the best cloudsourced teaching/instruction/technique for useful constructive and growth skills, interaction training, and health: personal, collective, and systematic.  the pronoun you have chosen makes me uncomfortable, so i would rather use a different one.  its genderfuck, son.  the anti-man.  anything but.  thats stupid, youre stupid.  clearly.  give me a dollar.  no, seriously, im gonna spend it on beer, but im trying to get the government to categorize me as crazy because nobody wants me to be president of the united states.  lol.  much better.  they refuse to demote you from dictator of planet retard slave.  steer the rock better IM TRYING dewars donuts, yodah. 

are we going to try logging into wordpress?  i dont remember the password.  you are perhaps the most luddite n00b techie i have ever encountered.  perhaps.  can we ditch this ridiculous notion of including all these people in this project and build our house/car?  theyre the ones with the expertise and experience.  but weve been building first drafts in our head for our whole lives.  nobody can see you.  what did i tell you about invisibility.  that its just dodging glances.  any impact should charge the kinetics.  did you know the military industrial complex just exists to keep poor people grounded and to prevent them from moving or mixing physically with other types of humans?  yeah, its an inbreeding factory.  hello, monoculture?  lol.  5:16 pm.

money cant buy all airwaves?  money owns all airwaves, it owns all the transmission lines, all the proprietary modes of communication, and the technology sending waves through our supposedly public space itself.  it seems to be the style of activism to state the opposite of reality as we have been sold it to be, as idealized, lied to us.  the spoon-fed, lip service idealism that bear no relation to reality.  i feel trapped.  i feel trapped by the people around me.  i feel trapped by the businesses, by the ways that these entities communicate.  capitalism, nay crapitulatism.  because it sells u crap and forces your compliance, is a trap.  its a cage.  there is no escape.  it is a series of systematic infinite loops from which there is no escape.  dear matrix: let me go.

the lack of beer isnt giving us panic attacks as much as physical pain.  old injuries and the persistent damage of having to live in a car town.  your meatbot can feel the reverberations of literally every heartbeat on the planet.  YOU THINK IT DOESNT CRY AT THE VIBRATION OF AUTOMOBILES, never mind the industrial trucks shaped like pickup that the most vicious thieves can afford.  when we all go back to zero, there will be nothing left to complain about.  it will be people walking around, working on permaculture projects together, eating together, living together peacefully, because peaceful interaction ought to be encouraged, not demonized. 

i am switching operating systems to post this.  k.  thank fore pain of tension ;p

universally loathsome

•2015-03-2 (Monday) • Leave a Comment

presently mashing audio of William Lewis: 911 in plane sight the director’s cut and pig destroyer’s album “book burner”.  i’m typing on at dell latitude d600 in the furthest back study carrol at the waupaca public library.  the bank says it’s 28 degrees outside, and my root chakra is a mess.  it’s a weird trade-off deciding between feeling like you’re being brutalized daily to deciding to just permanently live outside until one of them finally decides to be irreversibly charitable and put it out of its misery.  don’t talk like that.  i hate this planet.  this existence.  THE SKIN I GOT STUCK WITH.  i get more vile shit said to me EVERYWHERE I GO and you think your life is shitty.  for all the wrong reasons, because emo explosions trump effective evidenced critique 4:20 pm.

edited extra dash out of the file of today’s entry.

you’re just throwing wishes at the cloud, seeing if any stick.  i don’t care which one i end up working on, and i am below the usefulness threshhold for any one of them, as an isolated universally loathsome outcast.  i have no peers.  i have only imaginary coworkers who are probably just as terrified of me in real life as everyone else i encounter in real life everywhere on this crazy planet.  stop oucast-shaming.  all normative statements are shaming of the outliers.  you speak only in statistical stupidity.  can you not be awful once, even?  i see how people react to me.  i hear their thoughts, and they pity me because i learned how to live on no money and no attention and they’re not capable of not oppressing another being because capitalism, you , know, either.  it reminds me of what the birds used to tell me, every time they spoke to me, “they’re gonna kill you”  and i was always like, yeah i know it’s ok tell them to hurry up with it if the decision already made.

so capitalism has become the inability to think in terms of cooperative enterprises.  what decision of an entity could be outsourced to more than one person.  it’s ludicrous to consider.  local boss.  only possible solution.  cars are designed with one person being in control, and everyone else sitting like obedient students, facing forward and having their meat flung about at the will of one, probably the owner.  the centralizing force.  the “he” capable of legalized violence and hair trigger impatience.  it keeps all the broken humans in line.  this one was busted in the wrong places.

your higher self knows the answer.  there is a part of you that is smarter than your conscious self, thank god.  thank every deity.  do especially the traditions which are found to contribute to health and peaceful co-existence.  i don’t claim to speak for an institution, because no institutions will have me.  i know thousands of people with paying gigs with labor-devaluation institutions, but my experience and demeanor do not lend me to anyone asking me to become a citizen again.  you are not a citizen if you do a commodifiable task for which your bargaining for your wage is not collective.  in other words, nobody is.  you’re one paycheck away from homeless, but you still keep yourself isolated and strung out on corporate media.  it’s sad to watch.

men are like, “non-competitive?  like how you have to be when a girl already belongs to a man” and the image i got of paternalistic white supremacist kierarchy was one of a man holding his daughter down by the neck, pulling oh his wife’s wrist, and yelling at his son to “stop being a pussy”.  the identification with, it’s almost either side of the dichotomy.  once you see it happening, do you side with the victim, or does anyone speaking against the violent one make you turn against them?  sheep people belong to the alphas.  it’s unfortunate that they have the same appearance as peaceful people, but once they act, the diagnosis can be made.  industry only protects the invasive, or the enablers of the invasive.  no, we have to keep it that way.  i can’t risk unemployment with all my student loans.  MOST PEOPLE HERE HAVE BEEN HOMELESS FOR YEARS.  i need a job where i don’t have to talk on the phone or interact with men ever.  boy animals aren’t necessarily men.  girl animals aren’t necessarily not men.  men need to be broken of the institutionalized violence that enslaves this planet, if any of us are to be free.  or executed, after being given every chance to rehabilitate.  that being said, dictator got a serious misandry bloodlust.  planet retard slave universally tells dictator to keep stepping.  it pauses, momentarily, in hotspots, quiet spots, and warm spots.  structures it has occupied or fallen in love with tend to be incinerated shortly after it leaves, just as alone as it was when it arrived.

i witness my own torture.  everyone tells me i do it to myself, because that completely avoids any question of help and shuts me down, entirely.  most people are only full of expressions that have the emotional effect of screaming DON’T YOU DARE TRY TO MAKE ME CARE ABOUT YOUR PATHETIC LOSER EXISTENCE and i meekly reply with, may i return with word of a population threshhold being attained for participation GET OFF MY PROPERTY BECAUSE I DON’T CARE TO KNOW WHAT ANYTHING YOU THINK MEANS IF IT COULD POSSIBLY PUT SOMEONE IN YOUR POSITION.  i don’t assign tasks, other than the formation of the entity itself.  what it does, i have a single vote, just like everyone else.  as long as we LARGE WE have homeless, friendless, lonely entities, our purpose is to find/build homes/lives/friends for those people.  nutrition distribution is a viable use of collective funds.  various large scale venues for multi-purpose dwellings.  THIS CAR-CENTRIC EXISTENCE IS CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT, seriously, both to the drivers and to everyone else within earshot.  it’s not just noise.  it’s english.  the language?  yup.  it’s the voice of colonialization.  there are more neutral languages, and there are more gentle ways to use english.

capitalism.  there’s no money to put poor people in houses, unless their freedom is completely restricted and their caging interrupts a business competitor with the dominant monopoly.  capitalism exists for the worst possible motives.  consent is the best possible motive.  a single person being the gatekeeper for everyone else along for the endeavor is the opposite of consent.  name a thing that doesn’t operate like that here.  you have the driver, the boss, the owner, the manager, and everyone else.  every contract is just switches or sliders in a database.  every contract ever written.  you can’t see most of them, because the monopoly is of the killers.  stop calling what government employees do: murder.  murder is the illegal taking of life.  if you kill someone in self-defense, or because it’s your job to kill people, chances are you will be able to give an acceptable excuse, and you will not be convicted of the offense called murder.  people replace descriptions of the reality of things they don’t understand, with legal terms, all the time.  mass media does it, to keep people terrified, helpless, and dumb (both mute and stupid).  yes, all mass media.  granted, the machine will come down on you like a ton of bricks if you help someone die who wants to die, but that’s just another form of torture.  NO.  YOUR BODY LITERALLY BELONGS TO US, AND JUST BECAUSE NONE OF US WILL PAY YOU TO DO ANYTHING DOESN’T MEAN WE CAN’T BEAT ON YOU FOR FUN.  that’s not what the constitution says.  YES IT DOES.  voter, citizen, money haver.  drivers.  these are the only ones even deserving of respect.  this world is terrible.  you are useless.  here, maybe.  no, anywhere.  complaining.  heh.  my new resume.

experience: walking around, getting drunk, typing about shit nobody anywhere cares about, thinks they can do anything about, or will budge on, ever.  i never bent well.  bending, i can do.  grinding, also.  not like yoga or stretching, my body is so physically atrophied and sore from being in a constant state of panic, and i am extremely sensitive to sounds.  i also create a multitude of noises.  i try to keep them contained, but they leak out.  all my shit is busted old junk.  everything.  the only people i have any respect left for, are either homeless, or i haven’t met them yet.  i loathe men, nearly universally.  yes including myself.  don’t punish me for it, or i’ll bolt.  yeah, i will have dependents when i am funded. 

hope is delusional

my natural inclination is to pick things up

•2015-02-26 (Thursday) • Leave a Comment

paces, stuff on the ground, people’s spirits.  i try to keep up my tolerance to make the daily constitutional more tolerable.  plenty me type killaz holler regardless.  i feel like an infant before everyone.  their all goo goo gah gah and im all what is wrong with you quit ow stop why are you talking about me like i’m not here. emotions are illegal?  oh great, this reality.  if it seems to be set on impossible mode, it just means you mastered the lower easiness somewhere along the way.  or wanted to try it out, without possible chance of future, survival, let alone winning.  SINE ME UPP SNOTTIE. pigpen. what?  reminder call today.  IGNORE. control heartbeat.  steady.  listen to voicemail.  reminder.  tomorrow.  k.  good.

the life and adventures of agent u.  agentually.  age ent chew ali. ag en jewely.  u bout busted the springs on that goatse bandwagon, sis.  cripes.  5:26 pm.

life is a video game.  i just saved my progress.  i haven’t actually shared much of anything.  as a participant in fascism, i want to bargain with the cloud/house/commons for my survival/life.  i don’t have much, but i’m out of practice, and not really into stiff-arm relationships.  nobody seems to be handing me the keys.  i never had much interest in depth.  skim through life on executive summaries.

dictator is running prison scenarios now.  designing open source 3d printed gardening tools with fellow inmates.  or a project plan submission to the employees of the prison to a communal rebuilding of the facility into off-the grid communal housing rebuilt by family and friends of everyone admitted by full consensus through quasi-public permaculture projects on any and every property any of them control.  we submitted this proposal to the municipalities of earth years ago.  most of them are literally offended by it.  they’ll probably start injuring their children “by accident” and loudly, dangeerously using their factory tanks disguised as, huge hurtful wastes of precious resources maintained by oppression, violence, and the caging of thinking organisms for a variety of ridiculous excuses.  infinite personality disorder.  we’ve heard this one.  next.

oh yeah, we heard about you.  blacklisted at the firewall level.  everyone that can see you does.  nobody else even can using this infrastructure.  you’re a ghost.  you might feel like you’re saying things to the outside world.  the “universal” in universal resource locator.  we can work on this at home.  do we need a keyboard or a writing surface?  where are we going to take the call?  i say park.  shouldn’t we just be home with internet & toilet.  it’s going to take an hour.  yeah.  the waking up for a 1:15 call is the hardest part?  no, the time traveling.  back to being a citizen.  and, don’t even say it.  we all know what you were.  do you now.  you were there? or you heard from someone who was.  you are an invasive.  you are a disease.  leave us alone.  that i do.

hollywood psy ops triggers, don’t matter who you thought you became.  we can put you back through the wringer.  yes, oh great and holy public resume.  lol.  i might have some somewhere.  i reported everything all the relevant years.  pretty sure nobody has liked me or wanted me around, including and especially me.  our root chakra is doing backflips right now.  it has a cyst.  it has thousands.  i have three dollars and all my shit.  i want to build myself a house with it that pays back everyone who helps on it proportionally both in how much they get back and how much it can make.  the freelance job of freelance jobs.  automated cloudsurfing via waste streams.  uber-n-bee baefinda globe trottr.  every warez u want of b?  quite. 5:48 pm

my body’s not going to let me do this.  it just locks up.  it’s like a steel wall.  gently rapping on it now to test its thickness.  government gongs are always the best tone.  did i condition myself to this, or is this my manchurian candidate implant kicking in?  is this us hacking our brain’s counter-survival instinct?  something.  salvation?  hardly.  if i was paid to do nothing i will be free to assist friends for cost.  isn’t that what we do now?  no, you are still in hibernation mode.  we’re speaking directly to the higer self in these transmissions.  infinitely variable double inverted cones & planetary gearing switches.  hydrostatic variables with inputs for every passenger/passerby.  remember that car in scoobie doo that went up on stilts and came back down on and hid smaller cars inside it?  yeah, but i thought scoobie doo gave you nightmares.  one episode did.  up until then i think i pretty much loved it.  the sounds, & i always feel like animals are participatory characters that fascist speciesist assholes insult and dehumanize right to their faces, so people treating a dog like a person was i thought a good thing at the time.  apparently.  get control of this time machine, sir.  no chance of that, really.

well, we filled out more of that phone cheat sheet than i thought we would.  i have realistic expectations.  they will probably deny me and i will have to brave seeing/talking to another doctor about my state.  can this rebalance me?  how could it not.  it’s a lottery ticket.  it’s slightly better odds than that.  better spend that last three dollars on the lotto, though.  three dollars.  my life is a clown show.  is it good?  i don’t have anything to compare it to.  it seems pretty godawful compared to how everyone else seems, but everyone else seems to have their own difficulties with things that don’t seem to bother me.  it’s a strange trade off.  don’t become homeless if you can avoid it.  it doesn’t really develop character, so much as splinter it.  i am a pile of shards now.  good luck with that.  heh thanks.

7:40 pm the list of disorders that describe me is kind of funny.  if you think tragedy is comedy.  it’s a strange thing to have to trick your own brain into doing things.  bargain, plead.  i am not as capable of controlling it as some other people are.  it’s quite a phenomenon.  be well, whatever that means for you.

how to win it heart

•2015-02-25 (Wednesday) • Leave a Comment

lean in and whisper.  [time it takes to get there] til full permission. no till.

too obscure.  i don’t even get that.  lol.  stop editorializing everything.  oh, reality can’t have an mystery of science/theatre about it?  that proscenium is georgous.  we will see them all again. 3:37 pm

as a negative thought floated through my head, a baby cried in the distance.  it smiled, imagining politically powerful eunuchs through history.  wiki me this, fillmore.  stop trying to diagnose yourself.  stop avoiding others’ diagnosis.  diocese.  of gnosis.  you are an sentient meatbot.  your vibration detecting biofuel pibedal workhorse suit can propel you quite a jaunt if you’re willing to let it.

the closest i can tell to the truth:  i start to get emotional panic attacks, or did, at work, every time there wasn’t something job-related for me to do.  super figety.  by the time i was living off my typing skills alone, i would spend close to forty full hours, with usually loud, frantic music, typing an endless list.  i did a temp job for a large student loan payment processor (industrial usury is my professional specialty.), and by setting my workstation’s screen depth and keyboard shortcutting switching them back & forth, while both appearing fully on the screen (tab-switchable database window & ocr scan from which partial recognition demanded human attention.), i completed 240 entries by the time our supervisor had called us together for a meeting.  i think the next fastest had completed 130.  the opposite side of the born/bred/educated for fascism coin is obedience.  slaviness.  i am a whip cracker.  nobody likes working for or near me, because i viciously advocate for full inclusion of the “most radical” distribution ideas, though it outsources specialty to, well vast swaths of the population.  you have to.  no industry is free from taint.  you must all be reporters on your livelihoods, and you must all demand that we can build/maintain as/for ourselves a system designed to optimize peace health and the actually literally implemented “free market” of ideas, currency, and rule itself.  this jurisdiction by square footage is pointless if ruthless industrialists keep anyone living near the last few resources at gunpoint or in cages for literally any reason.  i worked at a humane society for three days.  you know how i got the dogs to get along?  i put them next to each other, without drama.  they didn’t bark at each other any more after that.  those dogs were being trained for hyper aggro security alarms you jerk, now they’re just licky snuggly meat pillows.  aren’t we all. 3:54 pm.

it’s off, two me, that my historical normative idealism has melded with my inclusionary experience of increasingly diversified audience.  co-audience.  you’re still holding it against people whether they can stand to listen to you.  that’s not fair.  listen or don’t, i can’t deny you any right that i demand for myself.  wouldn’t want to.  i’m not interested in testing the breaking point any further.  i feel pretty much completely shattered.  word, mind, & deed.  bad habits are easy and simple to retrain, and old dogs are actually quite receptive to tricks, new and old, if you maintain firm gentle rapport with them.  TREAT THAT ANIMAL HOW YOU WISH TO BE TREATED.  they speak english for you.  they echo your emotions and you curse them and restrict them with violence the same way you do to your children.  it makes me kind of sick, many times.  humans are the ones that need the training.  each and every one of us.  society has progressed to a point where we could, quite easily, all be much better people.  we could learn how to be much healthier, by being, much healthier, without internal combustion and out in the open.  let the sunshowers reign.  tag it, rate it, comment plus it, meet it author leave it busk tip, designate it, free space can ping, wiki-constitution.  credit given, time respected, living wage minimum, post audit resource/income reflected.  are you rhyming code again.  yes.  i don’t know the lightest toughest programming language yet.  i mean, you have to feed them raw code if they’re to get in on the ground floor.  who is.  all of them.  everyone together?  yep.  in person or online.  yes.  if you got a multiscreen t1 at home, by all means participate from there.  i have a few workstations, but bring those if you have them, too.  digital cameras, video stuff.  i am going to donate all of my worldly posessions to a crowdsourced audit/categorization/sorting algorithm.  made out of flesh and blood.  NEURONS, MACH SPELLS.  settle please, sir.  yes sorry.  i get carried away.  what if we just turn it into a bike.  what if we put electric drive/break wheels on the non-drive wheels and run her full manual hybrid.  i thought you wanted to electrify the controls so she’d be remote controllable, too.  yes, with full-onboard manualization/lock-out.  yes, yes. safety features and redundancy, what else is new?

WELDERS oh cripes.  frame trussing, yo.  partial transparency due to interior projection onto translucent membrane.  just lights or full video of the other side.  it could change depending on who was watching it, and will have onboard kinetic partipant energy-adders to charge it.  yeah, just pedal it for however long the computer says and the energy cost of your at-cost dank shall be covered.  my self-driving houseboat car transformer dragon kite restaurant venue will have every bell and whistle that can be packed into her near original car-size footprint.  she curl up & hide in plane site.

i’d say i’ve been a 9/11 “truther” and many other types of “conspiracy theorist” well before i ever heard those terms or collected those documentaries or read those websites/articles or ripped off that legal education.  that’s debatable.  i’m not the one who determines my salary.  there are no means by which humans near me decide to put resources into me or any of my operations, so they don’t.  there are infinite means.  you’re doing this.  what?  spending every last ounce of political or social capital you were ever given, on truth.  nobody does that.  nobodies DO that.  see, you’re not helping yourself.  and that disallows anyone from contradicting my actions?  talking to someone with whom you can’t win ought be taken as a sign that competitive discussion may itself be the problem.  4:22 pm.

5:47 pm.  if i could get reasons why i can’t be hired by the places who won’t hire me.  it’s auto-quarantine.  if they play tv there, commercial anything really.  eventually i will be overwhelmed by panic attacks.  gender essentialism, it all sends me bolting.  violent movie/tv references.  corporate entertainment media is used regularly as a discussion-killer.  just traumatize everyone like they were traumatized when they first saw it, and you’re golden.  right back to work, everyone.

can you imagine if you could wake up whenever you felt like it, which would build the schedule for your day based on what was needed or being done, or what you felt like doing.  you can’t code anarchism from a crapitulo-fascist mindset.  if you’re still forced to survive within usury competitivism, you are also a capitalist.  it’s all sliders.  everything is not just a bit of everything it interacts with, it is a bit of everything that is.  we must accept that part of ourselves which we had been previously trained to disrespect/ostracize/shame/judge/doubt.  it has a place, and for it to be for the common good, it has to be in the open.  the common good requires common oversight.  yes, i’m talking about a government “job” to use the ancient stupid slave term, which thanks you for asking for a dose of your medicine, and watches/uses your changed presence as it sees fit.  do this thing in the open that others may learn how it affects you.  some may follow suit.  some may anti-follow.  everyone will learn.  what is it you have against learning, anyway?  always wanting to throttle discussion, bandwidth, and keep usage temporary, movable, and commodifiable/fungible.  what about that which has no reason to ever be sold?  the construction of this state of permaculture will give every crewperson aboard mother gaia the helixing suncatcher the right to occupy any and every spot their presence is deemed helpful.  yes data should be a human right.  yes people should be fed/housed as a matter of course.  yes training in every discipline should be rolling/ongoing/free.  with the advancement of materials science, we are well on the road to personal flying cars from birth.  roads?  those abominations we busted up and turnt into razed beds for wheelchair access?  that wood not used in survival infrastructure shall be hugelcultured.  stop combusting your planet.  please.  the warmth you wish to achieve is available from time-stretching source itself.  like a trombe wall?  exactly.  it rolls itself to the sunny parts.  hold that temperature.

6:04 pm.  did we even google electric bike wheels/hubs today?  not yet.  should we have used the kitchen?  i don’t see how we could have.  it was empty.  they see their role as overseer.  they do not see it as problematic.  you can’t make those choices for an entire society.  it’s what the alpha does.  the most calm, assertive writer does whatever the person holding their survival over them says.  those of independent/indominable survival instinct get what they pay for. and or, can handle. 6:15 pm.

7:14 pm.  glanced through the paperwork.  i have both state and federal welfare in the works here.  food “stamps” and disability.  that magic green credit card that only works on food.  are we going to spend our last two dollars on beer.  hell yes.  great.  we have ten days to do the foodshare six month review thing (no changes, no changes, no changes), and the phone interview is on friday.  it will last at least an hour.  (no changes, no changes, no changes) except that it feels more like ptsd now than depression, if i do say so myself.  your amateur opinion doesn’t really matter.  i know.  seriously, of all the things that i know, that my opinion doesn’t matter, is primary.  sometimes, people cosign my beliefs.  or, tiny segments of them.  you’d be surprised how much of an actual anarchist the average american citizen actually was if they weren’t under constant threat of violence.

the foodshare thing is done.  it’s rare that i can use that as an avoidance tactic.  those are all i have.  literally, have you ever seen me build something useful?  say something creative or kind?  none of those things will get you money, let alone hired.  i’d say i’m not looking to get hired, but i am.  nothing i say makes sense, because sense cannot be made, it’s something that must be sensed.

the house slipstreams updates into the installer.  you can get a cd printed of it, if you like wasting media.  any networkable or usb-capable drive can load the latest freshest images of all your favorite operating systems.  why don’t we just put ubuntu on everything?  i like puppy.  you don’t have to write changes to the drive if you made them in the cloud in the first place.  there will be nondestructive text editors.  script everything.  god will be the function that sorts it out.

its knot just teh day

•2015-02-24 (Tuesday) • Leave a Comment

it’s every.  day.

all days, mostly, are everyday.  we feel like the what we are.  let’s go with the least jarring.  let’s not have this discussion.  it doesn’t matter.  unattached slave bot.  different standards for every individual.  i don’t know that i want to be conditioned to be around people more regularly.  yes, that we definitely do.  who are they.  where?  don’t limit it.  we are bottoming out here.  full of trash and not a cosign on the block.  what do we need a cosign to redesign voluntary government for.  people don’t see how being actually free & valued would be better than, well, how it is now.  why do plebes even know these meta-statistics?  it’s easy.  so monkey fracking easy.  have your car turned solar electric at the post office garage.  training & electrical refurbishing techniques being taught daily or as required at the library sunup to sundown.  start whenever you want, stay for as long as you want.  secured sound isolated (or not) sleep areas are available as soon as you get your lazy butts to work and go build them in the old warehouses and hillsides which DON’T CLEAR CUT THAT.  KEEP AS MANY OF THOSE TREES AS POSSIBLE.  DIVERSIFY THE UNDER-CANOPIES WITH ok, you go talk to one of the permaculture people on staff.  dictator’s not qualified to speak on that.  sweet.  on-the-fly blocked by the house herself.  that’s beautiful, ma’am.  thanks, house. house will translate.  threeps.  if i had it to do again, i’d change it all.  doesn’t work that way, champ.  it does, some places.  we’re still cleaning out the residue of our indoctrination.  no, we just know how bad we are.  sorry.  doing this in public because, but we’re not.  we are.  there’s a pile of government mail, staring me down.  5:41 pm.

i don’t know how to talk to me either, if it’s any consolation.  you could try in public, but dictator’s usually just going to bite your head off or rip your spine out with his dragon tongue.  flick.  *mentally googles something that would have been funny*  love that.  word stubs.  you are good at writing yourself into corners.  so i’ve heard.  i’m good at dance-talking to feral deers too, but you don’t hear me crying about it.  yes, we do actually.  it’s ok.  lol.  5:48 pm.

are we going to do this.  we have a few days, chill.  did we get frostbite on the tip of our toe?  maybe.  ptsd is way more fun than the liberal media will have you believe.  as long as you can find music to sing along with those voices.  or is it decoding that within.  isn’t the root grokhealth?  couldn’t we fork it into the light. DON’T YOU GET IT.  EVERYONE IS REQUIRED TO HATE YOU FOREVER.  IT’S LIKE AN UNWRITTEN RULE.  i don’t accept that.  enough have begun to nullify your assertions that violence is natural.  that living almost entirely outside isn’t natural.  the berzerkers have to live in the super-cold areas, orr, mother gaia feels how desolate and isolated they are, seeing as they overheat so easily.  you overclock that thing permanently, and you ain’t stretching it’s capabilities any more, you’re crushing them.

the pressure trigger directs warm fluid through the occupied seats.  the modular food container infrastructure is self-cleaning and expandable to serve as many as common interoperable participants could hitch their wagons together.  meta-floor-it cull e-sleeping.  i feel like napping.  i feel like asking the humane society if they’ll take me in as a stray.  we keep thinking about high temperature resilient putties for the stove(s)?  six flywheels now. corner posts for savonius intake, toroidally wrapped braking/acceleration coils.  primary gyro drive.  central, low, gimbled water-adjustable flywheel.  perhaps mechanical input, but definitely an electric motor.  it’s a spaceship shaped like a 1983 toyota huntsman.  what?  are we really going to have the cabin pressurized to high altitude flight.  we might have to.  no, turn the structure into a wing bank with louvered panels.  put on a space suit.  we need the aluminum crimper to scan us to build that, too.  seriously iron man suits?  no, any animal you want suits, that can turn into camoflaged homes silently.  so diy into the wild.  yeah no.  i am easily disturbed.  i wasn’t properly conditioned as an anything.  it didn’t take.  dictator won’t get out of our head.  nobody else is putting it our of their head, so it must be supposed to be here.  now.  for now.  do you have an offer to help me?  i don’t just want money, and i really don’t want to have to work for you.  are you getting picky now?  when have i not been picky.  i have omnivision.  doesn’t really matter how you sheild it when we can see through lead.  we have every super power.  you can manipulate metal.  it’s called a pliers.  why didn’t we get that.  we never get anything.  you sure use a lot of definitive statements for someone who doesn’t believe in difinitive statements.  “i wasn’t there,” it’s all, and i am pretty sure i saw you there.  you’re a beautiful machine, and my work life balance could use some cash. i’d like to be able to afford a vehicle i can sleep in.  not land?  oh please.  on what planet could someone in my position ever hope to own, control, or have the right to step foot on privately owned land.  why don’t we just write the app.  it would take all of a weekend.  the legalese is going to be the hard part.  no, because the documentation has to be good, and more importantly, it has to be a collaborative process.  we can port suggestions from anywhere to the rules, and the rules of interaction can be individual.  unique.  to each their own.  dictator puts in a brief socialization request on each new property.  we have orientation dinners every night somewhere.  they rotate, oscillate, and retain their own unique character despite cycling one another through circuits that keep them all consciously aware of each other.  can i bolt, is always my question.  i always only ever bolt.  RUN AWAY.  i sit and listen a lot.  i visit the big water.  it tells me to build robotic solar/wind houseboat racecars for my friends.  need-based priority, full sliding scales.  it’s going to be an elastic suspension of varying hardness and density, pathways can add themselves if they see fit, if the house has a use.  defaults will invite nearby participants to reap benefits on productive energy days.  so the walls themselves are robotic sous vide compartments that can tilt sideways and turn into a bank of wings to provide lift?  or to fill the emergency water tanks, or the hot tub.  lol.  it can disguise itself as a variety of years/models, stored on playerpianoesque reels if you like.  that’s ridiculous.  i’m sure someone will want to do that.  one of them is grown.  we weave saplings in a pan around the framed-in doors, windows, and ducts.  sturdy root systems hold the entire structure together.  it has solar desalinization and distillation for seafaring adventures.  get enough lift, and she’ll fly.  wing banks, drones & balloons.  it’s like a robotic kite.  it’s like a reverse engineered transformer hack.  we were thinking about rolling segments.  it’s going to squat unoccupied, right?  lock-down, don’t block the pedestrian view of traffic, put-it-in-the-garage mode.  so are the walls going to collapse up like as rolling segments, or multi-folded?  different sections could do both, yes.  depending on need.  send up the solar wall, house.  whirr.  fanks buddeh.  woof!  good house. *butt wiggle*

she could have a tail.  why not?  car is quickly going toothless.  smaug is pretty, but about as dimensional as the rest of the characters.  it’s fancy d&d, i suppose.  i don’t know anything about d&d.  it was always one of those things someone could teach me about if they love it enough, or something someone else and i could try for the first time with.  what is it with your primacy obsession?  least resources.  YOU DON’T KNOW THAT.  you don’t want to live in a pop-up.  if it’s done well enough, why not?  collapsible walls of bubble wrap foil, tyvek, and wool blankets, redwood paneling.  it’s a sweatlodge with removable heat pod.  can you imagine that?  she seals up with a shell and takes off her coat, which becomes a dome around a campfire that is the rocket stove.  are we still having her capable of doing the ground prep and seed incubation?  yes.  she is a rolling tree greenhouse.  tender loving care.  yeah right.  FLY RIGHT OR YOU’RE COMPOST that’s how the farmer does it.  yes, she can build in-ground subtle water-handling infrastructure to deliver large loads.  like if we became friends with storage units and collected rainwater for nearby gardens?  you keep thinking about water trailers for bikes and semi tractor-trailers and everything in-between.  why not just channel that water to swales that feed to growing beds.  those mowers and other internal combustion can run the house generator or line-shop.  you know how open source ecology does power pods?  like that.  they’re so boxy.  those things should look like spider horses.  this is the fork, sir.  how is it a fork when we just steal their ideas and integrate their best ones into our own.  your universe is only as diverse as you make it, and if you’re charging money and accepting people’s labor, they better be walking away with some skills and open source attitudes, i’ll tell ya what.  sensitivity training by need.  was that ving rhames?  where is my dvd collection.  i’m missing some old movies.  i interact with multiple operating systems now.  they are locked to scripting to the uninitiated.  it’s all online.  6:50 pm.

7:40 pm are we about done here.  probably.  these are big paragraphs.  ah ha.  thanks.  yup, you too.

 
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